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This new Mum was devastated to find out that her niece had given her baby the same name as her four week old daughter – but is she being unreasonable?

Posting on the online parent’s forum Mumsnet, one frustrated Mum has told of how she was incredibly hurt to discover that her niece had chosen the same name she had given her daughter for her own baby, just four weeks after giving birth prematurely.

Every Right To Be Upset

The new Mum explained that she feels ‘hurt’ by her niece’s decision, even though she used a shortened version of the name.

“My daughter was born four weeks ago (still in hospital) as she arrived premature. Niece gave birth yesterday morning and named (her daughter) the same name (although I’m putting a longer version on the birth certificate). I’m a bit hurt to be honest – am I being unreasonable?” she wrote on the forum.

While many were quick to jump to the Mum’s defence, “that’s a ridiculous thing to do, I’d be really cross,” some were quick to point out that her niece’s intentions were more than likely not malicious, “if your daughter was prem your niece would probably have used the name before your daughter was born term, and had probably picked it out ages ago.”

Let It Go

One comment on the forum encouraged the Mum to simply ‘let it go.’

“They didn’t know you planned to use the same name; you didn’t know they’d planned to use the name. Are you really going to tell me you’d happily shrug and hit the baby name lists again? Or would you go with the name you had picked out, thought about, practiced saying in your head….? Let it go.”

This is a tricky one. On one hand, we can understand the Mum’s frustration as a name is something you hope your child won’t have to share within their own family.

Unfortunately, particularly in the case of popular names, it becomes increasingly unlikely that they will be unique, and let’s face it, once they go to school they’ll be faced with four Olivia’s, a couple of Jack’s and a handful of Isabella’s…the only way to handle it is to choose to see it as a compliment. After all, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.

Do you think the new Mum had the right to be upset or is she overreacting? Tell us in the comments. 

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  • Tricky. Is the mum that close with the niece? Is it Really going to be an issue? If I was the niece I probably would have chosen a different name, but for all we know this could have been the name that she has been intent on for years.

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  • She named her baby first so everyone will know that and you just have to suck it up. Even if you pick an uncommon came you can still find that others will jump on it.
    If it really bugs you majorly you can always change your daughters name to the name that was second on your list.

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  • My cousin copied my daughter’s name.
    No one saw a problem with it until I pointed out that when we’re all together and we call out, “Arya!” they won’t know which one!
    Definitely annoying…

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  • I’d be upset too. They are so close in age. I personally wouldn’t have named my kid the same name, makes it too confusing.

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  • It’s a compliment in a way! Although not very adventurous to choose the same name. That happened in our house where we have two cousins both called James but it doesn’t matter. Both parents had liked the name for years

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  • She is being completely ridiculous. She doesn’t own that name and her niece is using the shortened version so it’s not even the exact same name.

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  • I think she has the right to be upset but what’s done is done as she had her baby premature maybe the niece had already picked the name months ago

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  • Look at it as a compliment.

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  • It all depends if the mum shared with the niece the name she was going to name her baby if she did then I would be upset too but if nothing was said you can’t really say much.

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  • It depends, did the mum tell her niece that she had chosen that particular name? If she did and her niece ‘stole’ for choice of a better word, then I’d be pretty peeved too. Bit if it was just by chance they had picked the same name… then you can’t really do much.

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  • I can understand why she is upset, but you can’t control these things and she has the right to name her baby what she wants

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  • I know it’s upsetting but is it worth worrying about? You have a beautiful daughter and, since she was born earlier than expected, how can you be so sure your niece hadn’t already picked the name. If so how would you feel if she got upset with you choosing the same name as your daughter. Just try to let it go and enjoy your daughter. Congratulations by the way

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  • This is tricky, but I agree, if you didn’t share the name and your baby was born premature, you wouldn’t necessarily have known – or perhaps she would have had her baby first and the issue would be the other way around.

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  • No. I don’t think she need to be upset. People have right to choose whatever name for their kids as there are lot of famous name out their.

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  • Depends whether the niece knew but I’d be annoyed. I’d probably rename my chikd if it bothered me that much. Better than fuming forever!

    Reply

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