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December 14, 2020

125 Comments

Have you ever wondered when should you tell kids the truth about Santa? Psychologist reveals age you should break the news.

Psychologist and parenting expert Dr Justin Coulson spoke about the controversial subject – and revealed when we should be telling our children the truth.

He said: “In my experience, kids get curious between the ages of five and seven.

“It’s a constant topic of conversation and like anything that’s supposed to be a secret: Knowledge is power.”

So if our little boys or girls come home from school, look up at us with those sad eyes and ask: “[Is Rudolph his favourite reindeer]? Ben in my class says he’s not,” how should we respond?

When Is the Right Time?

Dr Coulson says: “The right time to tell your child is as soon as they ask.

“If they’re old enough and curious enough to question, then they’re old enough to know the truth.”

“Once they get old enough to start to ask about Santa’s reality, ask them what prompted their questions. Encourage them to think critically. Can one guy really fly around the entire world and deliver that many gifts in one night? Has anyone ever seen a flying reindeer? How is anyone going to get down the chimney – really?”

“Have fun with it. Then ask them why you think you’ve encouraged them to believe in Santa. (Hint… it’s because you love them and want to give them special treats.)”

Debunking The Myths

Dr Coulston debunks the most common myths around why we should lie to our children about Santa.

“First, parents say “oh, it’s going to spoil the magic of Christmas if they know the truth”. My response: Bunkum!”

“Can you watch a movie and enjoy it even though you know it’s not true? Or read a novel and enjoy it while knowing it’s fiction? Of course. Kids role play, enjoy make-believe games, and have imaginary friends and this enhances their wellbeing and their lives.”

“Second, parents say, “but it won’t be as exciting on Christmas morning.” Ummm, your kids are getting gifts. They’re going to be excited. Guaranteed.”

“Third, parents worry that if their kids know Santa is a myth, they’ll lose power over them. The kids will play up because Santa isn’t real. Are you really going to be that much of a Scrooge at Christmas that you’re going to give gifts based on the naughty/nice list?”

Well, my youngest son will be 10 in February and he still happily plays along with the magic of Christmas.  He is currently sitting on the fence and I am definitely not about to push him either way! Let them enjoy the innocence of it for as long as possible.

How old was your child when they stopped believing in Santa? Share your comments below

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  • If your child isnt asking questions then just leave it be. You know your child best so dont be lead by some so called expert. YOU are the expert on your children

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  • My oldest is five so hopefully I have a few years of santa magic yet. I worry about when he starts asking because he might ruin it for the younger ones, but I agree that if they ask you shouldn’t lie. I can’t remember when I figured it out, but it never ruined Christmas for me.

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  • I love the magic – it’s a hard call. But maybe before high school/towards end of primary school.

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  • Let them go on believing for as long as possible but if they ask explain to them how Santa Claus came about and why you carry on with the tradition. Let them know you just wanted them to believe in the magic for as long as possible but never lie to them if they ask.

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  • I think children tend to play along because they think things might change if they let us know they know. Having said that, my son was in year 6 and I accidentally told him by talking about a radio show and he lost it. I actually did the opposite with my daughter and told her because her attitude was terrible. She wasn’t happy that I had “lied” to her for so long but I don’t regret it. I told her it was a lie, it was letting her have as much magic in her life as possible.

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  • As an only child we were able to keep the magic going for longer – closer to Grade 6.

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  • Christmas as a kid is amazing but Christmas as a parent is magical. I’ll be sad when we no longer do santa

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  • I think you should leave it up to the kid when they stop believing in santa. We teach our daughter more about the Christmas spirt.

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  • My kids worked it out for themselves, I didn’t need to tell them. They go to school, mix with other kids, they find out all by themselves

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  • I think when they I’ll tell. Id like to
    Think that my children would be respectful of the other if they still believe and continue the spirit onwards

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  • My children and I compromised as the oldest was well aware that Santa and the Tooth Fairy were not real but his youngest sibling of 7 years still had some beliefs. So we said that anyone who didn’t believe in Santa wouldn’t get a Christmas present and the Tooth Fairy wouldn’t leave any money in their glass where they had put their tooth. The children were aware it was make believe but they played along until the youngest was prepared to accept the facts too. It worked in my house – hope it will in yours.

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  • Great article, the magic of Christmas is truly beautiful.

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  • One year, when our daughter opened her gift from Santa, she turned around and told us that she had seen them in our wardrobe a week or so before Christmas, bugga.

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  • I don’t lie to my child. At all. I told her Santa is a pretend character but it’s fun to pretend! I did this after reading about how lots of other people handle the Santa situation I thought this was the nicest way and also made this decision from remembering as a child when I found out from a friend Santa wasn’t real – it did not hurt me at all or make me like Christmas less, or make Christmas less magic that he wasn’t real, what really hurt me was that my parents lied to me! I could not believe my mum lied to me. I want my daughter to know she can always trust me. Christmas is still absolutely 100% magic for her, it doesn’t matter if Santa is real or not. She enjoys Christmas, and Santa just as much as everyone else!

    Reply

  • I have a two year old and an eight month old.
    I’m not sure if my two year old really knows the concept of Santa yet but we will see how it goes this year!

    Reply

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