You know if you are.

And you probably are if you’re reading this – let’s face it no one likes to be angry right? We’d all much rather be happy, after all happiness is our natural state – anger is not.

In addition to anger contributing towards ill health and feelings of sickness, it also chews up valuable minutes, hours, even weeks, months, and in real extreme cases years off your life that you simply can’t get back.

Ask anyone who is angry about something ‘if you could wave a wand to fix the situation and be happy again – would you?’ – the answer is always yes! It’s both a toxic and very taxing emotion on the person feeling it and for the people that are unfortunate enough to have to be around it.

What to do now.

So where do you start in eradicating anger from your life? A great place to begin is to understand why the emotion called ‘anger’ rears its ugly head. Anger often arises as a result of us running out of ways to communicate. Plain and simple right?

Well not always – life is life, along the way we’re thrown some curve balls, challenges and encounter experiences that no amount of training could possibly prepare us for and along the way we’ve picked up some bad habits like reacting instead or responding and the like. Keeping your cool takes a bit of practice but like everything the more you do it the more you get great at it. We’ve all lost it from time to time – as any Mother with a teething toddler or a challenging teenager will tell you – sometimes a combination can really swing you over the edge!

Say goodbye.

Taking preventative steps is definitely the name of the game these days. Prevention takes far less work, time and effort to undertake then administering a cure.

‘If you are feeling stuck, frustrated or lost, consider getting a mentor who will provide unique insights to help you stretch, clarify your vision, get to the core of what is holding you back and propel you forward so you can get on with reaching for the stars!’ – Rachael Bermingham

Here are some tips to help you get to a happier place:

  1. Don’t overcommit yourself – leave yourself some buffer time in between appointments.
  2. Know your habits – if you are prone to running late, or taking longer at completing something – give yourself extra time to complete it or to get there – you know the saying ‘always under promise and over deliver’ – it’s no one’s fault except your own. Cranky retailers are usually a result of poor time management or hating what they’re doing and think that just because they put up with it that the rest of us have to suffer as well – wronnnggggg! Most switched on people can see the predicament they’re in and are intelligent enough to ………
  3. Take responsibility for your own actions.
  4. Chill out – when it comes time to take your last breath – are the things you’re getting irate about really going to be important??? Get over things – often the only person you’re hurting is yourself and those poor unfortunate people who cringe and want to escape the brunt of your rage – Get over it!
  5. Find an acceptable outlet for your anger – going off and dumping it on any other person or thing is simply not acceptable anymore – the smarter thing to do is to use all that emotion and channel it to something that serves you rather than sabotages you – think sport, think games, think …………
  6. Change jobs
  7. Go on a holiday
  8. Get some counselling – I usually suggest you see a psychologist/kinesiologist to bring up the reason for the anger (there is ALWAYS a reason in every case) and remove it. After all wouldn’t you (and everyone around you) much prefer to be living a fair happier, peaceful and relaxed life?
  9. Have a plan
  10. Get plenty of sleep, rest and time for you. Often a good night’s sleep does woooooonderrrrrrrrs!!!!!!!

Hopefully these tips will help you live a lot more peacefully.


Rachael  x

  • As a parent of a toddler and a 4 month old I don’t see how many of these options would work. Get enough sleep? When they suppose you do that, in between 2 hourly feeds and a toddler and baby that won’t nap at the same time, not to mention housework, cooking and that sort of thing that needs to be done. Changing jobs won’t work in this economy for those who aren’t full-time parents as they might not get another job for months or years, and if you are a full-time parent you can’t change jobs. Holidays can be just as stressful as being at home because there’s more to take into account and sometimes having a Plan goes right out the window when what you don’t expect to happen, happens. But I will agree with taking ownership of your angry and knowing your habits because if you know what triggers your angry you can try and walk away and take a deep breath and say to yourself – it won’t last forever and the calmer you are the quicker the situation gets resolved, especially when it comes to a temper tantrum-ing child. But it’s hard work for us parents no matter what other people say about how to handle a situation, those people aren’t the ones living the exact moment you are – they might be similar, but they’re not exactly the same. So don’t put pressure on yourself and compare other parents and their children with similar situations with what’s happening in your life. You can only do so much before you burn both ends of the candle to become what you think people think you should be instead of taking it at your own pace. If you know there’s a problem, that’s the first step in succeeding!


  • My kids say they know when Im angry because I clean furiously. A few years ago my son got a dreadul year 10 repot card. The kids knew something was wrong when they came and all the kitchen cupboards were empty and I was scrubbing the shelves. I usually find somoething to scrub or clean like mad, then when I am worn out I face the problem a lot calmer. My 8yo tells her friends if a swear word comes out mums mouth she is angry..lol


  • Lack of sleep and rest as a mum… It’s difficult to hold it together all the time.


  • Try and laugh at least once a day. Even read the little cartoon in the newspaper if you are on your own, or tell a joke. It is a great stress reliever. Better if you can have a joke with a friend or husband. laughing is infectious.


  • A lot of it is sheer frustration of too much to do and too little time and definitely not being able to find time to relax and just be you.


  • I think we all know what to do but its teaching ourselves how and when we need to do it to avoid an anger build up or even worse an anger outburst.


  • We all know anger attacks don’t help the situation. These are all great tips but sometimes they can be hard to follow.


  • these tips are great but to follow them all would be hard number ten is the hardest for me i have a toddler that keeps waking up during the night


  • Good point – there is always a reson for anger, whetehr you choose to acknowledge it, or even have the insight to do so.


  • i love number 3. take responsibility for your own actions, often when im in a rant my good friend asks me what I did which makes me realise I didn’t handle the situation properly instead I added fuel to the fire.


  • All these tips are great, but number 5 is hard to do when you are in the midst of an anger attack!


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