My husband is a shearer, with this being seasonal, sometimes he has to go away and follow the work.
For me, during these times, I tend to go into some sort of meltdown. Left at home with four kids, there is always a feeling of dread. It’s not just the fact that I miss him when he is away, of course I do, but it’s the knowledge of getting no relief from the kids that tends to traumatise me a more than the idea of loneliness.
It’s not that I see him much anyway during the week, he starts early and generally finishes late, plus he usually does some sort of farm work on the weekends, so he’s sort of missing inaction then too, but it’s just knowing that he will be coming home at night that gets me through.
My kids are great, but sometimes even good things you need in moderation. In all honesty, by the time it is 8 o’clock, I’m more than ready for them to go to bed!
So this problem of my husband going away for work was plaguing me a little. Every time he would tell me he had a ‘couple of weeks up north’ I’d immediately start panicking, and for someone who actually suffers from panic attacks every now and again, this was not good.
Eventually I realised I had to change my attitude about it. I knew I needed to look at this time from a different angle, to not only get through it, but to actually ENJOY it as well!
Here are my tips for getting through those times when you are left to hold the fort:
Make a list
Plot out all the things you need to get done or have been meaning to get done, or even things that you wish you could do.
By making a list you can visually see all the things that you can do to fill up your week and help make time slip by that little bit faster.
Perhaps include on that list all the things you want to do but can’t when your fella is home, like secretly clearing out his man cave.
Catch up on your favourite shows
Ok this sounds a little silly, but I NEVER get to watch what I want to watch on TV. Never. My kids commandeer it during the day (Peppa Pig anyone?) and my husband comes home from work and channel surfs like Kelly Slater.
So when he is away, I now use this time to watch all the silly girly movies I want and drool over Channing Tatum.
Have a major tidy up
I don’t know why but I always do this when my husband goes away. Maybe it’s like some form of therapy? I will go through all the cupboards in the house, drag everything out and systematically make three piles:
- Things to keep
- Things to donate
- Things to throw away.
It is also good to go through all the kids clothes and work out what needs to be binned, what can be handed down and then make a list of all the things they will need for the coming season.
Whatever it is that floats your boat this is the perfect time to either get back into your favourite hobby, or find a new one.
Spoil yourself and take some time out just for you.
I spend all my time writing, taking photos and working on my blog anyway, because that is my passion, so I find that I’m allowed a little more time to devote to this because I can let other areas slip a little when hubby is away…..like not having to do his washing, not having to make big meals (the kids are happy with pasta), and nor do I tidy up the mess the kids make quite so fanatically when he is away. I turn it in to a little break for me.
Probably the best thing I do, and the one I look forward to the most (which in turn gives me a reason to actually look forward to my husband being away, instead of completely dreading it), is treat myself to either a shopping trip, a massage, a facial or a lovely lunch out.
As mums we tend to put ourselves last all the time, so it’s nice to make this time a little special. Go on. You know you want to!
Do you enjoy or dread it when your partner or husband go away? Share in the comments below.