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What I thought I had down pat, was drinking too much alcohol on-my-own and being a good parent.

It is with thought I have decided to put this out there.  To expose ones’ struggle, an antisocial, unfashionable one.

But as they say, if it helps even one other person…I want to share the formula.

I could make millions!  If I could BOTTLE that! “How to stop drinking/drugs instantly.”

But it is your own recognition and reality-check.

But that IS what happened.

At 41 years old. I said it to myself.  “I don’t want to die in front of my kids, in vomit or just hooked up to a kidney machine” because my body has broken down.

And then there is NO going back.  The legacy  … “mum was an alcoholic.”

You Will Be Known For Your Alcohol

I was gentle, kind, giving, animal lover, childcare worker history… but if you drink then that title will be your one statement.

I finally said to myself. I’m not above beating this.  It will get me.  It’s ruling me. My kids see my red face, hear my slurring. They don’t like this person.

How It Started

It all started when I was a newly single mum with two under five years old.  No family in the state of Australia I lived in.  I had a glass of wine in the daytime sunlight, with calm children watching a movie.  It took that edge off! Felt so good. Over the next two years that ONE drink turned to one bottle, then why not two! Let’s make it only when kids at dads the weekend.

I had never been a good drinker.  It was a case of why have one. I might as well make it an occasion. Get to that point where everything nicer, rosier, even a big smile.  I look back and this was achieved with one glass!

But I had to have more and more.

Then it became spirits.  If I’m alone I can do this.  Party for one.

This turned in to a bender.  To explain what it’s like to want more after six glasses is scary.  To walk down to the shops for another two bottles.

It’s almost like in my fog I feel unseen! But everything is noticed.

Only my denial remains intact.

Vicious Cycle

Alcohol has a depressant in it.  So sad reasons to drink are only exacerbated by drinking.  It’s a vicious cycle.  I am not a person who stops at one or two.

Chemically I respond differently.  The thirst is real. The reality is  – I lost my way, lost my license.

Then I Stopped!

One day I just had it.  I really said it to myself.

I need to decide.

And I stopped – cold turkey.  It was the only way for me.

Some people don’t get it.

”Have one, that’s fine.”

I don’t explain, anymore…I understand my reasons and my children understand it.  That’s all that matters.

I’ve rediscovered myself.  My skin and hair are better.  Life alcohol-free is freeing.

Getting Better

Every day is better, it’s just stepping past the fear of not being able to cope without that weekly or fortnightly bender.

I thought alcohol was my friend, but it was the enemy.

I wasn’t coping with it.  I’m living life.  Feeling the feels.  This is living.

Share your comments below.

Is alcohol a problem? If it’s harming you, or someone you know, it may be time to seek advice from a professional.

You can contact one of the many services available, speak to your GP, local health service or call a helpline.

DrugInfo : 1300 858 584

Family Drug Helpline : 1300 368 186

Youth Substance Abuse Service : 1800 014 446

Counselling Online : 1800 888 236

Kids Helpline : 1800 551 800

Parentline : 1300 301 300

Lifeline : 131114

  • I love to have a drink or 2 every few nights but that’s the most I will have.

    Reply

  • Interestingly, I never found the time to drink once I became a Mum. My son was challenging and difficult for many medical reasons, so instead of thinking a drink or smoke would take the edge off and give me a time out… funnily enough, it never entered my mind. I hardly ever drink as it became a thing that I couldn’t afford a hangover or not being at my best to manage my child. That was just my mindset for my situation.

    Reply

  • You are very brave and thank you for the insight. Alcohol is a crutch and you realised that-good on you!

    Reply

  • a good reminder to us all, it is hard juggling it all too

    Reply

  • I could never balance being a good parent with drinking alcohol. I didn’t even attempt it very often. Even now, with my kids all grown up, I don’t drink much alcohol at all.

    Reply

  • Thank you so much for posting your story. It truly does show strength and courage. I am sure this article will help others too. Alcoholism is something that is very close to my heart. I held the hand of my youngest brother as he died from liver failure and then most recently, I lost my best friend of 25 years, to suicide. They were both alcoholics and left children behind.


    • That’s so sad. So young. Alcoholism can destroy so many families! :-(



      • Aw so sorry to hear, bless you when you’re grieving your lost loved ones !


      • Thank you for your kind words.

    Reply

  • I used to drink quite a lot when I was young but that was because I wanted to wipe my life out. I was suicidal for a long time. Then we moved and had our boys. I went to the local doctor for something totally unrelated and he told me I wasn’t allowed any alcohol while on some medication. While not drinking I realised that I mattered and I needed to be there for my husband and my children. That was the wake up call for me and I haven’t had or wanted an alcoholic drink since then.


    • Glad you had this wake up call, so good you were able to quit totally !!

    Reply

  • Thankfully, alcohol, drugs or any dependency, has not been an issue for me. My partner definitely has an issue though. Just like this woman, he can’t stop at one or two. Once he starts, he doesn’t stop til he passes out. Quite distressing for me, worrying about the damage he’s doing to his health. Can’t get him to stop though. He drinks just about every day and has a full time job, so he doesn’t think he’s an alcoholic :(

    Reply

  • Thank you for sharing this. It can happen so easily to anyone.

    Reply

  • Great and very brave post. Most can never admit they are drinking to excess and keep trying to hide it.
    Hope you and your children are now enjoying a great life and that things will just get better and better through the coming days.
    Thanks for being one brave mum.


    • It is brave to share stories and it can be so helpful.

    Reply

  • Crazy

    Reply

  • Wow!! You are one brace Mum for sharing!
    It is evident that you are one strong lady.

    Reply

  • So happy that you could get on top of this and its such an easy slippery dip for any of us single Mum’s to find ourselves on

    Reply

  • Thank you for raising awareness and for providing links.

    Reply

  • Wow, what a strong woman to be able to stop cold turkey and on her own !
    I’m a member of an Addict Group, because my friend was an addict and the parents of 2 of my foster children are addicts. It teaches me a lot about their life and struggles and has taught me to be empathic and not judgemental. Especially my 9yr old has the genetics to become an addict herself, Lord have mercy !

    Reply

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