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What I thought I had down pat, was drinking too much alcohol on-my-own and being a good parent.

It is with thought I have decided to put this out there.  To expose ones’ struggle, an antisocial, unfashionable one.

But as they say, if it helps even one other person…I want to share the formula.

I could make millions!  If I could BOTTLE that! “How to stop drinking/drugs instantly.”

But it is your own recognition and reality-check.

But that IS what happened.

At 41 years old. I said it to myself.  “I don’t want to die in front of my kids, in vomit or just hooked up to a kidney machine” because my body has broken down.

And then there is NO going back.  The legacy  … “mum was an alcoholic.”

You Will Be Known For Your Alcohol

I was gentle, kind, giving, animal lover, childcare worker history… but if you drink then that title will be your one statement.

I finally said to myself. I’m not above beating this.  It will get me.  It’s ruling me. My kids see my red face, hear my slurring. They don’t like this person.

How It Started

It all started when I was a newly single mum with two under five years old.  No family in the state of Australia I lived in.  I had a glass of wine in the daytime sunlight, with calm children watching a movie.  It took that edge off! Felt so good. Over the next two years that ONE drink turned to one bottle, then why not two! Let’s make it only when kids at dads the weekend.

I had never been a good drinker.  It was a case of why have one. I might as well make it an occasion. Get to that point where everything nicer, rosier, even a big smile.  I look back and this was achieved with one glass!

But I had to have more and more.

Then it became spirits.  If I’m alone I can do this.  Party for one.

This turned in to a bender.  To explain what it’s like to want more after six glasses is scary.  To walk down to the shops for another two bottles.

It’s almost like in my fog I feel unseen! But everything is noticed.

Only my denial remains intact.

Vicious Cycle

Alcohol has a depressant in it.  So sad reasons to drink are only exacerbated by drinking.  It’s a vicious cycle.  I am not a person who stops at one or two.

Chemically I respond differently.  The thirst is real. The reality is  – I lost my way, lost my license.

Then I Stopped!

One day I just had it.  I really said it to myself.

I need to decide.

And I stopped – cold turkey.  It was the only way for me.

Some people don’t get it.

”Have one, that’s fine.”

I don’t explain, anymore…I understand my reasons and my children understand it.  That’s all that matters.

I’ve rediscovered myself.  My skin and hair are better.  Life alcohol-free is freeing.

Getting Better

Every day is better, it’s just stepping past the fear of not being able to cope without that weekly or fortnightly bender.

I thought alcohol was my friend, but it was the enemy.

I wasn’t coping with it.  I’m living life.  Feeling the feels.  This is living.

Share your comments below.

Is alcohol a problem? If it’s harming you, or someone you know, it may be time to seek advice from a professional.

You can contact one of the many services available, speak to your GP, local health service or call a helpline.

DrugInfo : 1300 858 584

Family Drug Helpline : 1300 368 186

Youth Substance Abuse Service : 1800 014 446

Counselling Online : 1800 888 236

Kids Helpline : 1800 551 800

Parentline : 1300 301 300

Lifeline : 131114

  • Such a raw and honest post. Good on her for having that willpower

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  • Well done for realising alcohol was a problem and making a change.

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  • Good on her for realising she had a problem and working towards fixing it. Half the battle is knowing and admitting you have a problem. She realised what it could mean and mean for her kids and she made the right choice for them as much as for herself! I hope she can help other people realise this, from sharing her story

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  • it is something that probably hits home to more mothers than we care to admit – there is nothing worse that suffering with a hangover and disappointing your child all at the same time – it makes you wake up and take stock of what is important

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  • It’s fantastic to see there is many different options to reach out for help these days and just being able to admit to yourself you have a issue with drinking / drugs /gambling is also something to be proud of as this is usually the hardest part. I personally don’t have issue but a great read to gain perspective from someone who does

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  • How courageous! And, to share such a story is even more courageous. I hope by sharing your story you will be able to help someone else. But, no amount of lecturing from other people will stop an addict. The person has to make the first move and admit they need help before anything can be done.

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  • many things in life can quickly take hold and seem to get out of control.

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  • A glass or two now and then is enough for me.

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  • Its so difficult to admit that u have problem and look for help

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  • I’m very grateful I’ve never had a big taste for alcohol. It is a challenge for some.

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  • What a corageous experience to share. Very good on you. Going cold turkey was indeed the best decision. Well done!

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  • Good for you for realising you need to stop. I never understood people pressuring non-drinkers to drink.
    I like a glass of wine at times but don’t have more than 2 on an occasion because I could never forgive myself if something happened and I wasn’t able to drive if needed. Even having 2 is rare for me. I do love the taste but I just can’t justify drinking often.

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  • She is one of the lucky ones who was able to break the vicious cycle – well done to her! For others, the addiction is a way of life that they can’t break away from.

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  • This is the harsh reality for many people- would be a tough situation. I am lucky I haven’t been there myself.

    Reply

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