If you are in the mindset of trying to lose weight, I am sure you are imagining what life will be like when you hit your goal weight.

You imagine your ideal body that you are striving for and then in that distant reality you see lots of other things that you long for, but for many, they think that if I just reach that ‘perfect’ size, I’ll be set, everything will fall into place, everything else I want will happen. But only if I get to the perfect size.

OMG, the pressure. The pressure you are putting on yourself to lose weight.

It’s time to think about it another way…what if you have it backwards?  What if, you are really striving for, or looking for something that goes deeper than just losing weight?

Does this sound like you?

When you dream or imagine having a better body, what you often want is a better life, that if you lose weight, you will have it all.

But you are missing out on the things that bring you joy, happiness, pleasure and you tell yourself that when you lose weight, you will finally be able to have all those things – a better/new job, a more fashionable wardrobe, more fun, a better relationship etc. In reality, all these things are independent of the size of your body or how much you weigh, but you keep putting them off until you’re happy with your size? Why?

If you are trying to lose weight, ask yourself the following questions, even write down the answers in a notebook or diary, to get a sense of if you are doing it for the right reasons, not because you think being a size … will make your life heaps better.

1) What will be different in your life when you reach your target weight?

Do you have a clear vision, or goal of where you are going? It will be a lot easier to stay focused on the life you are creating and not just the number of kg’s you are trying to lose.

Once you have figured out what you want to be different in your life, it’s time to start introducing them NOW.

It might be that you are waiting to lose weight so that you are can do a Fun Run, or to sign up for a course you have always wanted to do, or to go on a holiday, or buy a dress you liked. Whatever it is you are waiting for, how could you go about bringing them into your life NOW?

Why don’t you give yourself permission to step out of your comfort zone and embark on your new adventure? Take a big leap and do something you have always wanted to do. Don’t let something like weight loss stop you. You might be surprised at the change in your mind shift and the weight loss that follows once you do these things.

By bringing in more of the things you want into the here and now, not only will you take some of the pressure off losing weight, you will be more energised, focused and unstoppable to those things you want more of.

2) How do you want to feel when you get there?

So once you have established how you want to feel when you reach your goal, you can start by consciously making the decision to infuse more of these feelings of success and achievement into your journey toward that point.

You will never feel like you have arrived at your goal unless you have a clear picture of what it looks and feels like – it’s the truth.

The desire and longing to lose weight is often a yearning for something much deeper than actually losing the weight. In order to really be successful, you have to identify exactly what you are looking for, what you are longing for.

It might be that you are trying to lose weight so you feel sexier and more confident in yourself. Whatever it is, you need to get in touch with those feelings you want to experience and find ways to stir up more of those feelings in your everyday life.

I know I have said this A LOT, but it is important. Take some time out for yourself, have a nice relaxing bath, or dig out those heels or a dress and lipstick, or even get your hair and nails done.

Do whatever it takes to fill your life with more of the ‘feel good’ feelings you have been longing to feel.

When you start filling your life with more of these great feelings and more of what you want, you may notice that it will become easier to reach your weight loss goals after all.

It’s time to let go of the belief that losing weight is going to give you the life you have been dreaming of. When you don’t have a clear idea of what you really are wanting or striving for, your weight loss attempts will most likely end in tears or dissatisfaction when you actually reach your goal and you notice that nothing in your life has actually changed but your size.

Losing weight and bettering ourselves can be a wonderful & beautiful thing, but if you don’t know where you’re headed, you will never find happiness in a ‘number’ on the scales.

Image courtesy of Shutterstock.com

  • I’ve learnt you need to love yourself and be in the right mind frame. You need to enjoy trying to lose weight else it will seem like a chore! Make excersise fun and just eat healthy foods no processed crap and you will feel much better just stick to it and it will become a daily habit


  • Thanks for the information! Definitely very useful!


  • I’ve found that I can never lose weight unless I am in the right headspace. Get that sorted and it becomes easier (not easy, just easier)


  • Great information, Thanks for sharing


  • What a fantastic article. Very interesting and valid points. Thank you for sharing it!


  • l really love reading these it s so greet


  • This article has great advice.


  • interesting read, thanks for sharing


  • love reading these


  • thanks for the advise.


  • Great advice


  • looking nice


  • Good advice, many people lose weight to look good but the focus should be health which can’t be quantified as any particular size. Weight lose after a baby in particular can be extremely stressful and burdensome for mums. I’d rather focus on how I feel, if weight loss contributes to better health physically and emotionally then go for it.


  • I know, I know. As I get older, I’m learning to love myself more. My husband is happy with me, I need to learn to stop the ‘losing weight to be happy’ mentality. I feel good that I’m walking 3 days a week, finally doing (not talking about) yoga, happy in love, happy in life.


  • This struck a chord for me. I do keep putting things off for until I am fitter, thinner, feel better about myself or whatever, but if I just get on and do those things then I may well become fitter, thinner and feel better about myself. I think I hold off on those things because I don’t think I deserve them until I have achieved something such as weight loss, but then I just feel worse and worse about myself which just brings me down even more.


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