68 Answers

Please help!! I have a 12 year old step daughter who is lying about everything it feels like. She is becoming manipulative. She’s always been such a good kid and now it’s like she’s turning into a troublemaker at school as well. We are worried that she will run for her mother when times get tough with us, her mother is into drugs and partying. Any advice for parents that have gone through this?

Posted by anon, 18/10/13

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  • That’s such a hard situation – if she’s lying to avoid getting in trouble, maybe assure her she is safe and loved even if she has done something wrong.

  • I’d put money on it being a reaction to her mums behaviour. Find a good pediatrician and get some professional advice. She doesn’t like her reality so she’s creating a better one.

  • Take her to a child psychologist. Most kids lie for attention and acceptance – is she getting both at school and home?

  • Hold your ground, don’t crumble! It is hard but you will get through it. Be as open as you can and try explain that you are there whenever she needa you.

  • very hard situation she may be testing your boundaries but don’t give in stand united with your partner try to keep her busy by doing family things,tell her how your feeling,best of luck to you.

  • there are some good comments here

  • School Counsellor is where I would start. They will offer you help. You don’t have to tell her you are going at first. They will tell you that she is just trying to find her way at school. Ask her if she is happy at the school she is attending if she is not change schools. It can be like day and night when kids are happy at school. Offer her out of school opportunities like ice-skating, tennis lessons, music lessons, singing lessons, net-ball, bowling keeping her busy or having something to do helps with idol hours in a day.

  • Did you find any way of handling it?

  • No answers, but I have a 14 year old step son doing the same….

  • How is it going now?

  • It is a tough time, I saw my sister-in-law go through this and unfortunately she did go back to her mums.

  • Some really good advice below – hope some has helped.

  • That’s really hard I hope you find an answer

  • Make sure you and your partner support each other and create a united front.
    Keep up the discipline. You might be surprised that she probably wont run to mum.
    Im not doing to lie the next few years will be tough but stick it out.
    Fellow Step mum

  • thats a tough one hope you can work it out

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