100 Answers

I recently separated from my husband & we both want equal custody of the children. I have read positive & negative effects of a 50/50 custody arrangement, but would love to hear from someone with experience & perhaps some helpful advice. My children are aged 10, 9, 6 & 3.
Thank you

Posted by jamie s, 6th December 2013

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  • It would take a lot of commitment and organisation to pull thus off. Both parents would need to remain living close by

  • I think a good respectful relationship and communication between the ex partners is very important when sharing custody. Practically it’s important they don’t live too far away from each other, so that it doesn’t affect school and friendships of the child. I think it’s also important to involve the kids in the discussion about their wishes and time schedules.

  • Its what works for your family. 50/50 is great IF you get along enough with the other party to share events, ie swap weekend as its grandmas birthday or dad is going away for work etc.

  • Friends who wanted 50/50 custody found they had to adjust the schedule a few times to suit the kids… a week on, week off, didn’t work for them, for example. They now do something like three days at Mum’s, three at Dad’s, and so on.

  • It is good reading the comments and interest to this!

  • My friends separated just over 12 months ago. They have the kids one week each. Would be ok except mum has a mental illness so kids tend to look after their mum when with her and she’s very negative about her ex.

  • Honestly, if you both agree on a 50/50 agreement immediately it is SO much better than fighting for uneven custody which could take months or even years and cause hostility simply because there MIGHT be some negative effects.

  • Hi I’m 14 and my parents have 50/50 custody of me and honestly I hate it.
    It was alright when I was younger but now that I’m in high school it’s to hard, I feel like I don’t have a house I live out if a suit case literally and my parents live about 50 mins away so if I forget something they argue about who brings it to me and most times I just carbt get it which Is bad when I leave projects or school laptop charger at one house. Also schools a problems because I carny just catch a bus or work to a local school I have to catch a train 30 mins to get to school when I’m at my moms which annoys me because I carnt see my friends after school much , I also couldn’t do sport or dance as it was to far to drive after school.
    A good plan which I wish my parents had for me would be 1 week plus Monday Tuesday at one house then Thursday Friday weekend at the the other (every second week)

  • I don’t have that experience but shared custody I think good for kids development and have a good relationship both side.

  • having shared custody is good for the kids, they adjust as long as you and ex can talk about their wellbeing together

  • if the relationship was good without any abusive or any bad things maybe consider 50/50 but if it had trouble then maybe look into who is better of with them

  • As long as their routines are not interrupted (eg sports, school) then it works. The problems generally occur when one of the parents starts with an attitude of “I’ll do what I want to when the kids are with me” Agreed parenting plans help and open communication with your ex. You might find the 3 year old has issues though.

  • If you are on good terms with your ex them it can work but for a sense of stability for the children I would suggest doing fortnightly switches so the kids can get used to both household routines.

  • If you can keep it civil and make sure your kids can keep the rest of their lives as normal as possible eg. go to the same school, the same after school activities then I think it would be great – definitely in your kids’ best interest.

  • I think the main thing is to keep any negativity away from the kids, if you can remain civil it will save a lot of pain down the track

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