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13 Answers

I am a single part time working mum and my 6 yo daughter talks down to me, back chats and holds her ears and says no no no!!! I have tried removing all toys and bikes and not buying her things. I have no family nearby so I am at a loss. I really need help!


Posted by phoebe08, 27th May 2014


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  • At least you aren’t smacking her out of frustration, well done to you for that! It must be really hard doing it all on your owñ. I would suggest be consistent and don’t backndown


  • I know its really hard. But just stay really calm. Have a time out spot and use it whenever you feel both of you getting frustrated. She’s acting out to see how far she can push you.


  • You just have to keep strong. She’s just testing you and it’s made even harder because you’re a single mum. But keep up your kind of discipline, you will get through to her


  • I feel for you. I’m a single mum with no family near me. I have made sure I have networked for a couple of good play date friends. Support. Have you thought of it as energy. Convert that energy into positive outlet. Try a martial art. With sports voucher if her first activity it ends up next to nothing. And it’s a physical discipline. A lot go twice a week. Practice at home. Go for walks together in a nature track and discover the environment you see together. A whiteboard with say a goal of getting seven ticks for helpful, outstanding behaviour then a treat. She’ll see ticks accumulate. Or not. Acknowledge the good more. Try changing her bedroom around. New poster themes. A new outlook new chapter. As single mums we absorb all their emotions and they know they wear us down. I refer to us as a team. We all contribute and we all pull together. I have two girls.


  • Sit your daughter down & have a grown up chat with her about why she is doing this unacceptable behaviour.
    Have you & her father recently seperated? She could be lashing out.
    Is she being bullied at school? Peer pressure?
    There could be a lot of reasons but you won’t know unless you ask her. Explain to her that you love her & only want the best for her.
    It could just be a cry out for your attention, maybe make a girls day once a week where you spend the day together doing something girly.
    You could also make a good behaviour chart, each day her behaviour is satisfactory she puts a sticker on the day, if she gets a month full of stickers, she gets a small treat?
    If the bad behaviour continues keep taking away toys, for longer periods at a time, & keep asking, there will be a reason for the behaviour it is just a matter of finding it.
    I wish you the best of luck.


  • Keep removing toys, needs to fe for a while though. Have you looked for an underlying reason for her bahaviour? Missing someone, bullied at school eg


  • I’m 6 months pregnant with my first child, so I don’t really have any advice I’m sorry. I wish you all the best though, I can only imagine how hard it would be not having much support close by. Good luck & remember, you’re doing the very best job you can. x


  • Oh dear sounds like my 9 year old, she doesn’t care what we take away. We have decided we will just send her to her room.


  • I’m also going through the same thing with my kids and I have a 14yr daughter and it’s so out of control I’ve tried everything.


  • if you feel she is talking down to you tell her how you feel about it if she continues to do it put her in a time out each time until she realisez your the parent and she cannot speak to you like that

    i have a 7year old daughter and she doesnt like time out but she always comes out and apologises to me then she is good from thrn on for that day

    time out works like this sit them in a quiet spot with no distractions and its 1min per each year so for your daughter she would sit there for 6mins until she apologized


  • Ive done the same thing as scottie and my daughter done the same thing


  • I used to always be calm and found the best ‘punishment’ was to tell my daughter to stay in her room and think about her behaviour or what she had done and when she had thought about it enough she could come out. Often I would find her still in her room hours later tidying or doing what I had asked in the first place.


  • Juanita, you poor thing – that sound terrible! I have some understanding of what you mean because my older daughter, who is now 9, does similar sorts of things.

    I find we end up in this horrible cycle of her being aggressive, and me being angry, and then we’re both angry at each other. So, I decided to break the cycle. To do the opposite of what she expected.

    I can defuse some of my daughter’s aggression if I respond early on with kindness and love. It’s counter intuitive, but when she starts to get defensive, or aggressive, I can just walk over and give her a hug, and ask her what’s going on. She doesn’t expect it, and it’s difficult to be angry if the other person is not being angry back.

    Another technique I’ve heard is to agree with them. If they say ‘You’re horrible and mean’ you can calmly say something like ‘Yes, that’s right, but you still need to pick up your toys’.

    I hope this helps.


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