19 Answers

I’m 30w pregnant with my second. My oldest is 19mo. Any advice about surviving two under two? Because of the current condition, my mom can’t come over to help with newborn, especially because she lives overseas, and we don’t have any close family/relatives/friends that we can ask to babysit my son if I’m in the hospital during labor. I wanted my partner to be there with me, but who will stay with our son? Any advice, please?

Posted anonymously, 6th August 2020

Want more real mum questions sent to you?

You'll need to check this email to complete your signup.


Ask your question
  • This may no be helpful but my partner will be staying home with our daughter and my best friend will be joining me for the birth in less than 8 weeks. I am pretty happy with that as I know my daughter will be at home comfortable in her own home. Some times we just have to make these types of sacrifices.

  • I’m so sorry that you don’t have family around to help and don’t have any suggestions other than you may need to take you eldest to the hospital with you? I had 2 under 2 – it is hard work and all a bit of a blur but very rewarding once they are a bit older. My 2 love each other so much and always occupy each other. They sometimes fight but that is to be expected.

  • If you have no other option, your eldest will have to go to hospital with you, im sure the hospital staff will help out. Or, you could go through labour by yourself so hubby can stay with first born.

  • I have to under 2 if can be a bit of an a judgment at first but I love it so much they are the best of friends maybe see if the older child wants to help you do things with the baby

  • I thought it was going to be super hard having 2 under two. It definitely was an adjustment I didn’t have much help around and my second wouldn’t sleep more 30-1hour. ???? for the first 6 months!
    But in saying that my daughter adjusted really well there was moment that are hard but remember it doesn’t last long.
    Have you got any friends or other family that can watch your son?
    Super hard with the current situations.

  • We were lucky that at least one of our parents managed to visit to watch the other kids but I had 3 in 3 years (my eldest turn 3 6 weeks before my youngest was born and there is only 1 year and 13 days between the younger 2). I have seen people who take the younger one into the labour ward but I don’t think I would personally have done that. Perhaps hire a professional child minder or something when the time comes so your partner can be present. Now may be the best time to reach out to other mums via local groups because NOTHING can prepare you for having multiple children close together. Its not easy but you will do it and you will manage it because you have to. Other things may fall short but as long as both children are fed and cleaned at the end of the day then you are doing great!
    Good luck with it, you are capable!

  • I think you already know its going to be challenging, but remember the first six weeks are the most difficult, then it keeps getting easier and easier. Don’t feel guilty if screen time goes up, you need to be kind on yourself and do whatever it takes to get through this. Oh, and congrats! Enjoy your little bundle as much as you can, they don;t stay little for long…

  • Try and sleep whenever you can. Make sleep a priority! Everything else can wait!

  • There’s only 14 months between all 3 of my kids and between the first and second sorry its not going to be easy and noone can prepare you for it, your just going to have to do it because you have to. My husband chased around our first child in the hospital and missed the birth because we had noone to watch him and there is no other way unfortunately because the nurses aint gunna help ya.

  • I was is a same situation. We asked our neighbours to have a look at our son. Lucky my labour wasnt to long. You can do it…

  • Also, you adjust. It’s all a bit uncertain and daunting when you think of the future. Rest assure you will get through it. The first 6ish weeks are the hardest. You will survive! Get your older child new puzzles, toys, books, and keep the kids channel on haha honestly though, just take care of yourself. Lots of water, boiled eggs, bananas, vitamins fruit and veg etc. Long showers! You cant pour from an empty cup! Fix your needs first.

  • Hi,
    It’s difficult times isn’t it, I really sympathize with you.????
    If you have a local community Facebook page, I would ask those who have children to come forward who may be able to help. Then you could catch up over coffee and see if they are suitable, you could say must be available inc. Overnight from these weeks etc must have first aid etc wishing you all the best.
    It would be worth getting in touch with local day care centres too (especially as they have their 1st aid/working with children check/police clearance etc) and just see if any ladies would be interested, and pay them accordingly.
    Try not to stress, it will all pan out, and you will wonder why you worried so much. Take care

  • Don’t you have a close friend sister or brother from either of your family that you can ask to help?

  • Be kind to yourself- it’s tough for a while, mine are 20 months apart, and they are already playing together, it is so nice to see. If you have a vaginal delivery you won’t spend much time in hospital anyway this time around… hopefully the situation changes soon and someone can help

  • My eldest 2 differ 12 months and 3 weeks. My daughter was prem and still very little wearing size 3-6months old clothes when my son was born. I had and have no family around either. I think I asked a friend to look after my daughter during the birth of my son. My husband was off work during the days I was at the hospital and took care of my daughter, visiting the hospital every day. As soon as I was home I juggled the kids myself although my hub would help in the evening settling my daughter to bed, whilst I breastfed my son. It all worked out fine.

Post you answer
Like Facebook page

LIKE MoM on Facebook

Add a photo
Your MoM account

Lost your password?

Enter your email and a password below to post your answer and join MoM:

↥ Back to top

Thanks For Your Star Rating!

Would you like to add a written rating or just a star rating?

Write A Rating Just A Star Rating