My partners sister and husband separated just before Christmas, she had an affair and living with the new guy who is 10years younger than her and they work together she hasn’t spoken to her son or seen him 3 weeks prior to Christmas and has seen him or spoken to him since Christmas. We drive 2 hours every Year on Christmas 2 hours and only get to see all the in-laws 2-3 times a year and it’s only when we drive down as they don’t come up. My partners nephew waited to open his presents on Christmas with his mother and she came to the lunch and then left her son said to his cousin I wish my mum and dad where still together and why can’t they be in the same room. He didnt know what to say to him so he spoke to his mum. His mum has already left by the time we got there I sent her message saying thanks for the girls presents my 8 year old and 4 month old but it would of been nice for you to give to them as they would of loved seeing you and especially when we drive 2 hours to spend quality time with family. Her reply was sorry but it in the right space at the moment and I will catch up with you before you go home.
She has 2 daughters from first marriage her ex cheated on her 1 daughter over seas and the other on 21 is living at my in-laws in between houses as she is moving in to her mums and separated husband investment property I tried to speak to her saying you need to speak to him he is hurting told her what he said to the 21 cousin and she said she tried but said to leave him she said for him to stay with her over Christmas as we will be at nan and pops and hang with their uncle and me meaning for me to look after him she didn’t get it . His dad was on going on night shift and isn’t want him house by him self but we already said we will take him he is 15 I tried to speak to him but he doesn’t want to talk about it and said his dad has sspken to him he said leave it .I reassured him that if wants to talk we are all there for him meaning all the family and we love him and care about him the problem is he doesn’t have much to do with his nan and pop other 2 aunties and their partners and kids as the cousins are older 5 +years older and he was naughty growing up and got in trouble a lot my mother in-law doesn’t really like him but she doesn’t pay much attention to any of the 11 grandchildren
Me and my partner have always done things with him and the other cousins I have never had a problem with him he has always done what he was told by me and his uncle he does winge a lot and stuffs himself with food and is the fat kid. So while he has stayed with us the in-laws have been away 40 min camping so we drive out and see them every second day I took him to get his hair cut as he had a mop of LEGO hair his mum still hasn’t called him or any other family except her daughter she hasn’t said anything about her brother to her mum I messaged her again today saying we are leaving late Saturday still no reply now I feel like messaging her saying stop playing the victim I get that you have fallen out of love and your going through a hard time but it was her decision might not of been the right one but you choose to do it but don’t forget about your son he still needs a mum and he is suffering as well . I’m really upset that she is treating her son like this also she keeps saying that she needs to work things out and she doesn’t know what she is doing to me the boyfriend is not her family and if he had any sense surly he would be telling her to see her son
Should I message her again tell her this or leave it
Posted anonymously, 2nd January 2019