94 Answers

After miscarriage – I don’t want my partner to touch me and I don’t know what to do. Both my partner and I have kids from previous relationships and he didn’t want me to keep this baby. I miscarried a couple of weeks ago at 8 weeks and I can’t stand the thought of him touching me let alone having sex. We used to have sex 3-4 times a week and now I can’t even comprehend him touching me. Have any other mums been through these feelings? I don’t know how to work through them and seriously considering ending the relationship. I think my main thing is he never wanted the baby and he got exactly what he wanted… I think I understand it wasn’t his fault but he wasn’t caring or anything after it happened… Would love to hear from any mums who have experience something similar?

Posted by anon, 18/08/13

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  • I see this is an old question. Are you ok ? Did you end up ending the relationship or were you able to restore it ?

  • I’m very sorry for your loss and wish you all the best for the future.

  • So sorry for your loss. What a horrible situation. Seems to me you don’t consciously blame your hubby for your loss, but sub consciously it seems you might be. I do hope it all worked out ok for you, whether that includes you staying together or not

  • It would be hard. I should think it will take some time fir you to recover. Maybe a GP visit and some counselling would help?

  • tell him how you feel and that you need more time. show him your love in other ways

  • You need to speak to a third party here, like a Doctor – I hope you work your way through feeling like you do *hugs*

  • I think you definetly need to consider the relationship for the sake of yourself and your children. If you are in different minds about having kids and you feel you can’t work through the problems together it needs to be considered if it is the right environment for your kids. It sounds like you need counselling to come to terms with the miscarriage. I would talk to your doctor and get a referral to someone who can help you work through the process of grieving and help you make a decision about the relationship.

  • you need to talk your feelings out to someone

  • The loss of a child is a huge thing to go through and no matter how much you try and be rational, there is always the what if. If it’s affecting your relationship, I hope you’ve been able to talk openly with your partner about it, or engaged a counsellor to help you sort out your issues over losing a child and in your relationship.

  • Having a baby is a huge thing and if he didn’t want the baby then maybe he should’ve been more careful? He obviously agreed to having sex..!

  • that is sad to hear im sorry for your loss

  • Hope you have been able to better this situation.

  • I really hope you have manged to work through this.

  • I believe in being very open in a relationship so I would talk it over with him

  • How are things with you both now?

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