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19 Answers

I have a son who is 12 and I went through our search history the other day and noticed that he had been trying to access porn sites on the computer. As our computers parental controls are very strict he was blocked from actually viewing any of these sites. This opened a conversation about his friends viewing these images and his natural curiosity to look as well. I explained about the situations of many women on these sites and also the degrading quality of them and the unrealistic portrayal of women. Since then I have noticed he has tried again on another computer (iPAD) . Obviously boys will be boys but I am wondering if I should source some VERY, VERY mild pictures or a magazines or something for him to look at? That way I could keep control over what he is looking at and at the same time allow him to satisfy some of his curiousity. He is definitely in the middle of puberty already and I would rather I had pre-checked the material first before he finds away to source harder images or porn. What do other mums think?


Posted anonymously, 9th March 2014


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  • I’m sure he will be able to acces these rudie pics sone other way, such as his friends who claim to already gave seen it


  • I don’t think it’s too much to worry about, he’s just curious. If he doesn’t see it at home, he’ll most likely ask his friends for it


  • use educational pictures from textbooks and what not depicting a very average women in a not very sexy style and ones that depict and explain reproductive organs for men and women


  • Good idea – he is going to find it one way or another – better to have some control over it and let him know ok to ask questions


  • i would not know how to sort this out either


  • Personally I wouldn’t give him any pre approved images, but to be honest I don’t really know what the answer is to this question. Hope you find the solution.


  • make sure your VERY open and honest with him. it will ease the burden of peer pressure, if he is not embarrassed about the situation and can speak with you then you will know what is going on and his curiosity may decrease a bit.


  • He’s going to find a way to see these images, maybe chat to him..I wouldn’t provide the material. Just let him know he can be open with you.


  • This is a difficult problem. He will be naturally curious and want to look at stuff his friends will be talking about. However, some sites are too graphic and totally inappropriate for a young boy. Perhaps there is a more mild site that you can make a deal that he can look at if he doesn’t try venture to other stuff. Might be a job for his dad.


  • I would let him look, he Is a young person who is curious and should learn in a safe environment


  • there are some good comments here


  • Yes he is a heterosexual male who will starting to be curious about sex. You can’t control what he does outside your home or whether others, especially his friends bring porn to him. However you can decide the messages you give your son as a woman. Soft porn is still porn; it objectifies women. You can still talk to him about sex and the changes in his bodies and what that means. Respectful attitudes towards women begin at home. There is no longterm harm with your son seeing porn initially, as long as you and his father promote respectful attitudes towards women.


  • I wouldnt be supplying him with anything at all.
    As other parents have said I would be telling him that if he dares to access these site on your internet connection then he will be banned from using the internet.
    The concern is not where does it start but where does it end.
    12 is way to young AND again I would say be very careful about buying him magazines because even though he is your child you need to be careful…..I would check out the laws about supplying porn to underage children…you could be putting yourself at risk legally.


  • We have a 13 year old son,we haven’t come across this one yet ,but we do tell him he can’t go on porn sites or he will lose his iPad.And I check his history all the time.


  • Wow what a hard question. I agree that it is a worry that if you let your son look he might show other children who aren’t allowed. However I do think you’ve raised an interesting point of allowing him to look at preapproved pics. I guess as long as there is plenty of healthy discussion going it might prevent him from being secretive or looking up heavy porn. My parents had a heavy ban on all of this which just led me to hiding it and feeling dirty etc. Now I am becoming my own regulator on how much is enough.


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