12 Answers

Ok, so lately I am changing myself drastically. I have been to the Doctor for help and now that is underway, I need some other tips and strategies for dealing with my kids when I am mad at them and stressed because of them… Any help would be greatly appreciated!! My children are 6, 4, 3 and 1.
I am trying to stop yelling at them and dealing with them in a calm way, but a way that they still get disciplined and know they have done wrong.

Posted by JessyJade, 5th November 2015

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  • Once you’ve been to your counselling sessions a few times, you will be armed with strategies on how to not get so angry with your kids. It gets easier

  • Yes I agree, count till ten and think before you respond. Sometimes I walk away for a moment to take a deep breath. There’s a nice wee book that could help you it’s called “How to talk so kids listen and listen so kids talk”

  • It’s tough not to get angry, but just stop and remind yourself that it’s not that effective on the children and it’s damaging your own health.

  • time out. good for them to calm down and good for you. then just ask them what are they doing, why are they doing it and what should they be doing (or behaving) if they are not sure, then talk to them about it. These questions help them to understand their behaviour as well and learn what is acceptable to mummy. good luck, i know it can be frustrating sometimes so i understand.

  • About all I can suggest is just stop and breathe!

  • I hear ya. I have difficulty getting cross and overwhelmed by my 3. Consistency is one of the keys – although it is hard – in other words ensuring the same outcome every time they do something good or something bad. Also expectations – remembering they are only kids and ensuring you aren’t expecting too much of them. Good luck

  • I am slowly getting there :-) getting down to their level is seeming to help both the kids and myself… The kids know they have done wrong, and I stay calm… Hopefully I can keep this up!! Thanks for everyone’s help thus far :-D

  • I am going to following this post closely as i need to be more calm too.

  • mom160421 has given a wonderful response, children need you to get down to their level (looking them in the eyes). Explain what they are doing wrong and when all is finished walk away and make yourself a cup of camomile tea (this can be done in the microwave in a matter of a minute) while the tea is in the microwave take some deep breaths.
    All the very best to you and your family:-)

  • Thanks heaps for the responses lately!! Sounds like the breathing seems to be key… Will give that a good try. Family counsellor sounds like a good idea, at least maybe for my partner and I to get on the same level will help… When I’m angry I try and calm myself down a bit before getting up them, slowly working but still slipping. Hopefully trying the breathing will help!!

  • I hear u ,recently I seen Family Councillor ?Part of it is we are stronger ,wiser & be kinder .Acknowledge there brains are size of peas .Try to distraction method , .But my tip deep breathes in with good out with bad.

  • I have always found that sitting down with the child who has done something wrong and looking them straight in the eyes and explaining to them calmly what they’ve done wrong and why and then repeating it a few times until they get it has always worked for me. It may take some time to do, but I’ve found that I have only needed to do it once and the bad behaviour stopped. As for staying calm, take deep breaths and tell yourself “this too shall pass”. Take care.

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