18 Answers

I have a mother-in-law that drops my son off once a week to school and she goes there and bags me out (so I’ve been told by a couple of ladies that I talk to). Have any of you mums been through this? What can I do?

Posted anonymously, 11th August 2015

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  • Very unpleasant to discover this ! Personally I would approach MIL and ask about what you’ve heard in a gentle way and see what her response is. Also speak out how this affects you. When it continues I would take distance, depending of course how much you need her to drop your son off

  • Maybe your mil is doing it tongue in cheek. If you heard what she was saying, chances are you wouldn’t even be offended. The other mums could be exaggerating

  • I would talk to her and tell her what you have heard and see what her response is!

  • Confront her about it say this is what you have heard but don’t name who from and get her side of the story

  • My dad always taught us to “believe none of what you hear and only half of what you see.”
    So unless you are there to hear it for yourself and know the exact context of what she’s said, I’d tend not to listen to whatever else has been said.
    Things can be so misconstrued, so easily. If you don’t have prior problems with your MIL, I would let it go.

  • Have a good long chat with your mil and ask her why she does this. Tell her others have heard her say bad things about you. Maybe let the teacher know she’s being a busy body

  • I just ignore it. My mil just recently tried to break me and my partner up by trying to make him choose between me and her, he obviousky chose me and the kids she didn’t like it and blocked and deleted us f Facebook and has been saying horrible things about me. I see it as people that I care about won’t believe the lies as they know me and the ones that believe it aren’t worth my time.

  • Argh mother in laws!! I feel for you as that is so inappropriate, if you can your partner should be the one to set her aside and talk to her about this good luck!

  • This sounds like a terrible situation to find yourself in. Tricky for you, tricky for your partner and tricky for your school mum friends.

    I guess your reaction depends on how much it’s bothering you and how much you like confrontation. There will be some unpleasantness. I guess you need to weigh up what the chances are that she’ll change her behaviour if she’s confronted about her behaviour.

    My initial reaction would be to get your partner to say something to her. Failing that, I would address it with her directly. She would have to know that what she’s saying is coming back to you – which is why she’s saying it. If she has issues, she should raise them with you directly.

  • I think that’s so rude of her I think! Good luck with it all!

  • Wonderful response MOM1501.. I also do agree she should be pleased and feel thankful she has her grandson in her life and do her level best to keep it that way…and bagging/running you down is not a way of creating family unity.

  • I would ask her. Do you really need her to drop your child off? That’s so rude

  • Best to get both sides of the story and then act on it – good luck!

  • I would speak to your partner and ask him to speak to her. Failing that, I’d confront her calmly and factually. I assume her doing a school drop off is a big help so tread carefully but set boundaries – it is a privilege to be involved in your child’s life not an entitlement!

  • I would be asking her to her face! I would also ask the ladies at school to back you up regarding this matter.

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