25 Answers

I am wondering how to handle some things that I have been told lately. I have a few family and friends that have a called me lazy – I work 7 days out of a fortnight and have two kids. I have a husband who is currently out of work. I do a lot around the house to help out but still feels like no matter what I do it’s not good enough for anybody.

Posted anonymously, 16th March 2015

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  • Who on earth is saying that to you? What are their motivations for saying that? What do they gain by you being less ‘lazy’ in their view? I wouldn’t worry about it, especially if you know it’s not true. Perhaps they’re jealous. This sounds like something my sister-in-law would say due to her jealousy and always trying to pick a fight and get a rise out of me. Ignore them and move on

  • As long as you know what you are and what you’re doing, and you know it’s enough, don’t pay any attention to outsiders and their irrelevant 2c worth

  • Family and friends who are saying that to you ?! They don’t have a clue ! Don’t take them serious. You probably don’t want to destroy your relationship with friends and family, so I would probably say “thanks for your opinion” and pull up your shoulders. When they keep on bothering you with negative comments you might want to speak this out, but really, they are the ones who aren’t respectful, don’t take it to personal.
    Those that mind don’t matter… and those that matter don’t mind indeed !!

  • Ask them what do they want you to do . Do you owe them anything , if not just ignore them and be happy . It is hard to please everyone and most of the time we always think of ourselves last , especially at the most stressful times . Hope you take time out for yourself and family which will allow you to cope better .

  • I have family members like that also. I’m not a violent person but sometimes I’d just like to fly kick them in the head and tell them to mind their own damn business!!
    Some people just feel the need to be nosey and rude.

  • It’s how you see yourself test matters. And hubby. If it’s working for you, roll with and ignore the haters

  • Those that mind don’t matter… and those that matter don’t mind. It sounds like you’re doing great.

  • Tell them to have a go at walking in your shoes before they criticise. People are so quick to judge without knowing the situation.

  • It is surprising how much mess children make around the house. How much is your husband doing to help? If you are doing shift work, it throws you body clock out of sync and takes a few days to adjust. If you are doing night shift to earn extra money it means you have to try to sleep during the day, often not easy with children around, especially pre-school age. I hope your husband is helping with the laundry – at least bringing it in in doubtful weather. He can at least sort it per room, then fold it and hopefully put it away.
    I know a couple who both work shift work(one 4 days and the other 3 days) and have 2 children. One – 8y.o. is now at school and has ordinary uniform and sports uniform which have to be washed regularly- she can’t just wear whatever is clean – ,but the other one is only 2 years old. Both of the kids go to swimming one night a week. One parent has to go in the pool with the younger one. The elder one goes to the Gym one night a week. The parents share the chores equally. They both do cooking, care for the kids and do other housework. It isn’t easy but they manage. The only thing he very rarely does is the cleaning.

  • I know it’s not easy but you will just have to try and block out their opinions and ask your husband to defend you if needed. Next time they give you a hard time ask them to help you and see if that shuts them up. Good luck and chin up.

  • Is there a reason why they are calling you that? if not ignore it. If it’s said because say for example you always go to others for dinner but never invite them over etc or never bring a plate of something to a family gathering or you ask others for help around the house but never do anything in return then I can kind of understand it.

  • If you are truly happy with yourself then you shouldn’t worry about what anyone has to say. As most of the other posts have stated, stay away from the negative people, they only breed sadness. Mostly, look after yourself and at least once a day, do yourself a favour!

  • set yourself a goal and use their comments to motivate yourself and prove them wrong. don’t believe what they say as it reflects on them not you! put some distance between yourself and them. if you are in a shared house situation, work out how you will get your own place etc. Keep your eyes on the goal! You know, you do what you can in each situation and no one has the right to make you feel bad. I would ditch those rude friends of yours and space myself from those family members a little.

  • Just say politely to everyone that you are doing the best you can and if they think they can do better then they can do it all for you! I think that may silence them a little!

  • I truly think your doing well ,working & Parent isn’t easy .Maybe it’s a guilt reaction from others short falls ,put u down so they feel better

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