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Any suggestions for dealing with toddler rivalry (nephews / nieces / siblings) when a new baby entered your household?


Posted by mom74959, 23rd April 2015


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  • I think it’s first of all important to prepare the older kids on the coming of a new baby. Involve the kids in the care of the baby and make sure you spend plenty of one on one with the older siblings with help from your partner.


  • Buy duplucate toys. yes children have to share but it is hard. buy two balls the same. two toys the same. not too hard.


  • Share your time, give more attention to toddler when need be


  • Make sure the older ones don’t feel left out. Make sure they still get their private one on one times with mummy and daddy. Try and include them in all activities when it involves looking after the baby as well.


  • I think the answer of giving them both one on one time is a good idea!


  • Make sure the older kids all still feel loved and needed and when you get the chance brag to others about something that chid has done really well or achieved while that child is in the room, so they feel important. Make them feel needed when bubs is old enough to eat ask if they want to help feed bubs. When changing nappies ask them to help by choosing out a nappy or passing the wipes, And make special time for the older kids even if it just choosing which book is to be read to them for the bed time story etc.
    For my kids when our youngest was born is use to say things like only you can help me do this as bubs is way to young to help. .


  • I included my daughter in everything before our son was born. She came to ultrasounds & helped by clothes & picked out toys & everything, it became just as exciting for her then as she was a major part of it all.


  • Boast box! get the toddlers to make a box full of special mementos/ toys for the new baby and make them feel like a special part of the process!


  • Lots of one on one time for the older child, even if its just going to the shops together and sharing a milkshake while hubby looks after the bubs.
    With my kids they helped change the nappies, helped choose out the clothes bubs was going to wear, my kids are 6,4,2 they are the best of friends and the worst of enemies at times.


  • We told our toddler that is was his baby. Also because I was breastfeeding we made sure from the day I got home from the hospital that hubby took mini bub for 30-60 minutes in the morning and my 2 yo had one and one time with me nearly everyday for months. I think it helped a lot and will be going back to one on one time with Mr now 3 as I think he is feeling a bit neglected.


  • i find that getting the older ones involved in the care of the new baby is important. i also get my kids “big brother” or “big sister” tshirts so they feel special


  • There is a place for the rival and that’s still I n your hearts. They’ve been displaced and you need to make them a new place as a new big brother, or cousin with a new baby. Make them feel special, a special helper. Be interested in what their enjoyments are and reinforce positive behavior and ignore the negative. If they do something great be over the top impressed to show good behavior gets attention.


  • Make sure you give them one on one time


  • I haven’t had the toddler rivalry. I have had the other way around. My first daughter was so beautiful with the new baby. Now that the baby is a bit older my first daughter is still so lovely but the little one keeps pushing her out of the way if she tries to cuddle me or her father.
    Just try to make sure you still do things with the toddler. I know it’s really tricky but sometimes you need someone to take the baby for a bit so you can have special time with the toddler. My first daughter also had two of her own ‘babies’. The new baby gave her a carrier and some clothes for her baby so she could carry her baby around just like mummy, etc.


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