5 Answers

My DD, who is 7, still occasionally wets herself at home, but mainly at school. She has development delays, but since 3 has been totally toilet trained.

Accidents only started happening since last year. She would average once a term maybe? She just doesn’t go to the toilet. She feels the urge but is either distracted by playing or I hate to say it, but just plain lazy. I still have to tell her 6/7 times a day to go. Any tips on stopping this? I’ve taken her to OT’s, peadeatrition, physio – they all agree it’s not related to her development delay.

Nothing has changed at home or school. And what worries me more is that she’s starting to be teased at school but doesn’t care. Kids tease her for having wet herself and almost always she doesn’t wipe after poos unless someone tells her to, so quite often you can smell it on her. She understands she needs to go, she feels the urge, but seemingly would rather wet herself and stay in wet pants then get up and go to the toilet. Any ideas or anyone else been through this? She is totally dry thru the night too. Just seems to me like she’s being lazy and can’t be bothered going to the toilet at school or at home. I have toddlers recently toilet trained and they are mortified when they have an accident. They’ve had maybe 3 accidents since being toilet trained. Please other mums can you give me some advice or tips?

Posted by mom140193, 25th October 2016

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  • I hope it all worked out well.

  • Even for kids without a delay it can be a bit of a problem at that age.
    I would talk with the teacher about this and maybe a TA/teacher helper can help her remind her or walk up to the toilet with her at set times.
    In regards to not wiping herself well, even my 10yr old regularly doesn’t ! Rule in my house is that when the undies are a bit soiled the kids get to give it a wee scrub themselves (I did this from Kindy /prep age onwards) it certainly helps.
    In general I think the less problem you make of it the better.
    My youngest is 6yrs old and has a delay too. She does well at home but not at school. She goes in a pull up to school and the TA take her to the toilet.
    My 6yr old goes to pull ups to school, she has a delay a well. She does well with toileting at home.

  • I’m sorry, I’ve read your question but can’t really offer up any solutions other than to keep reminding her. Hope you are able to find a solution.

  • Look at working with the school counsellor. If the physical reasons have been ruled out it would be useful to look at the emotional and social reasons it may be happening. Be patient as frustrating as it is.

  • It isnt a solution but would wearing pull ups work for her during the day? Are the teachers able to help out by reminding her? Maybe a watch with a timer set to go off throughout the day to remind her to go may help?
    I hope you are able to find a solution. (could a reward chart work?)

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