13 Answers

I have anxiety and depression and I don’t want my daughter to see how hard it is for me, I want to be strong and a good example for her but I’m afraid I’m not doing very well at it.

Posted by stepmom107932, 4th December 2014

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  • It’s great that you recognise you need help. First step is talking to your GP and ask for a mental health care management plan.

  • How are you going now ?

  • I hope you sought out medical assistance. Your GP for starters, they will recommend and refer you to someone who will be able to help

  • I think it’s important to take your well being serious. The same way we go to a doctor with a broken arm, the same way we should seek help when feeling depressed / anxious. I would go to your Gp and get a referral for a psychologist. Personally I think hiding your feelings for your family members is not a good thing; feeling are real and home should be a safe place where we can be ourselves, you are an important role model to your children and real depression and anxiety can’t be covered up anyway, as you indicate yourself as well.

  • My daughter suffers from depression and anxiety also. I never know what to say or do to make it better, or if there even is anything I can say or do to help. Reading the tips below has helped a little

  • I have always believed – being honest with your children is best… If it is effecting you, and you haven’t seeked professional help, it is time to do that too.

  • speak to a professional. depression is very serious. I take sertraline now and though im not happy, I feel I can cope better with lifes stresses. please take care xx

  • It depends on the age of your daughter. Babies, Toddlers and little ones don’t need to know..however older children can gently be made aware that you struggle daily. There are support groups for children who have a parent with a mental illness. I do hope you are linked into mental health services and are being monitored and gaining treatment. All too,often people think they are coping and in fact they are in need of support. To be a better mother, you have to first be a better you! Do you have an understanding partner and or family? Often people isolate themselves from the very people who, love and can offer support, don’t push these people away. If they are aware, they can help. Be kind to yourself, you are not superwoman and no,one expects you to be. I do hope you seek,assistance via the appropriate agencies, there are several that can assist you especially if you are a sole parent.

  • So you want to hide it? Be ashamed of it? How old is your daughter? If she is old enough, talk to her about it, explain it to her as best you can. Tell her sometimes these things happen and you can’t do a thing about it but there is nothing wrong with it, you don’t need to be embarrassed or ashamed. Seek help and things will get better. Maybe ask your councillor/psychologist?

  • IT seems like you are very aware of your own limitations and aware of the needs of your daughter. Why don’t you seek some professional advice here, lots of mums are just like you. You aren’t alone. You may not want your daughter to see you when you are at your lowest, but she needs to know that you aren’t well and most importantly that it isn’t her fault. Perhaps a health professional can explain it to her in simple child friendly language. This will take the pressure of you, allow you some breathing space and time to collect yourself if you need to. Your daughter loves you just the way you are, she always will. She may even know something isn’t quite right. Good luck to you, take good care if yourself. You are beautiful. You aware loved. Time to love yourself now.

  • Take it from someone who knows sometimes you just cant hide it and its not healthy for you to do so. Depending on the age of your daughter your illness can be explained to her in differant ways. Children are very resilient and do cope well when they know and understand what’s going on. They start reacting when they are scared and dont understand. Your daughter will thank you for thinking her grown up enough that you shared this with her.Your problems will be halved onced shared as the saying goes. Good luck!

  • How old is your daughter, do you have a partner? if your daughter is old enough to understand it may be worth speaking to a therapist or your GP and sitting down with your daughter and explaining what the problem is, and what you are doing to help yourself, children are a lot more perceptive that we often give them credit for and she may be concerned that she is causing your anxiety, it is important that she realises that it is a chemical imbalance and that it is treatable and support from home is very important, the other thing is that she may be concerned that she will get depressed herself, and this is always a concern as sometimes anxiety and depression can run in families and if she is a teenager they always need as much help as possible anyway, so essentially depending on her age, I would enlist support and speak with your medical provider and discuss it in conjunction with your daughter, she needs to be included.

  • Please don’t hide it from your daughter! My mum had Depression & anxiety it started from PND. She didn’t tell me until I was an adult. Growing up she would have good days & a lot of bad days where she was tired, unmotivated & low. Over the years I thought she was lazy, uninterested in me, selfish or it was my fault, because I didn’t understand what was going on. I have PND & anxiety, if I’m having a bad day I tell my son (3.5) that I’m feeling a bit sad or tired that day, that I love him, it’s not because of him & ask him if we can do a quiet activity. Please don’t ever let her feel it’s her fault or that we have to be strong all the time. Quite often depression comes from being strong for too long & denying ourselves those vulnerable moments that help us heal (we suck it up & get on with it). I hope you feel better soon :)

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