33 Answers

A very good friend is having a baby and she’s a 1st time mum. A mutual friend and I are organising everything, but she is taking over and I am really hurt because she’s not letting me have any input in our friend’s day. Fortunately most of the problems so far have solved themselves, so I haven’t had to say anything- The mum-to-be has chosen the date and venue which is fine with me as it’s her day. I had a great idea for a “mum” gift for her because the baby gets so much focus and I think mums need a gift too. So I told our mutual friend and now she is doing the gift that I was wanting to give my friend. That really made me upset but mum to the rescue has thought of something else to do now, so I’m happy. But how do I tell my friend that I want to be more involved in our mutual friend’s day? So far every other idea that I have had has been shot down! :( I love both of my friends very much so I don’t want to hurt either of them but I think she’s over extending herself, and I don’t want to be left to pick up the pieces or fix it because she’s taken on too much for our mutual friend. I don’t think it has to be OTT (this isn’t the Real Housewives of BH). Our friend is super chill and something OTT is not her at all! I want it to be special and relaxed and memorable for all the right reasons! Any suggestions would be great!


Posted anonymously, 5th February 2014


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  • Oh my goodness this is a very old post !! Hope it all worked out with your friend and the baby shower ? Did you get to talk things out ?


  • The best way would be to delegate jobs, that way each person knows exactly what they are responsible for.


  • ask her to take a step back, and let you two organise it, and trust you. I hate all these shitty parties to be honest, and being part of a big family of girls, it is incredibly hard to have my view point, as most like them. to me they are come over and buy me a present kinda things…. Good luck with it all, I feel for you!!!


  • Only way to fix it is by being honest. Your friend might not even realise how she’s being. Show her your post here


  • IN NICE WAY YOU HAVE TO TELL HER HOW YOU FEEL! NOT ABOUT PAST EVENTS BUT THAT YOU FEEL THAT YOU WOULD LIKE TO FEEL INVOLVED MORE SO THAT YOU CAN SHARE THE PLANNING ETC TOGETHER. YOUR OWN WORDS BUT USE I FEEL SO IT IS MORE POSITIVE CONVERSATION, YOU SAY YOU ARE ALL GOOD FRIENDS SO SHE MAY NOT BE AWARE THAT SHE IS DOING MORE THAN HER SHARE AS IT IS A JOINT EFFORT TO MAKE THE SHOWER A GREAT DAY,A SUGGESTION GET BUBBLE BLOWERS AS THEY ARE MAGICAL .CELEBRATION AND BEING HAPPY IS ALL THAT IS NEEDED. ALL THE BEST


  • this sounds just like the plot of the movie “bridesmaids” that was hilarious


  • Sounds quite normal to me…good luck!


  • Hope it all worked out in the end?


  • Hope the party went off without any trouble. Would love to hear


  • If you look up watermelon baby shower in google images. I love the idea :-)


  • It’s really really hard to work with someone else when it comes to planning a party for a 3rd person. I would call her up and say you have some spare time coming up, what can you do to help out. That way your not upsetting her and she has the opportunity to ask for your help.


  • Hope it all worked out and everyone including mum enjoyed themselves :)


  • there are some good comments here


  • how did it go in the end .. . .


  • i hoped it all worked out


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