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Hi Ladies, I’ve been invited to a hens do at my friend’s house, and wasn’t sure what to get her as a gift. I asked her and she had asked for money. She’s getting married soon and has asked for money too for that even though we aren’t allowed to the evening as she’s doing a no kids policy. Anyway, I’ve never heard of people asking for a money gift for a hens do as it’s not as though we are doing an event like cocktail making or anything, it’s just her Sisters laying on a bit of food and drink.
Do you usually give people money at a hens do and if so, How much?


Posted anonymously, 17th January 2021


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  • I’ve paid my way for an event as part of a hen’s do but never given a gift and especially not given money.


  • I’ve been to hens days which have been high teas or lunches and have paid my own way which I have not minded one little bit. But no I would not be giving money as a gift for a hens day.


  • Hens do is a no gift event. Yes you would pay you’re own way if you were doing something (e.g. dinner) but otherwise there are no gifts. And if you aren’t going to the wedding, I wouldn’t be giving a gift either unless they were maybe my best friend.


  • If it was an event ie a cruise, I would think everyone pay their own way. I’d be tempted not to go. Sounds like a money grab. Hope she is a good friend


  • Never given a gift at a “hens”, different to a bridal shower/kitchen tea where I would bring a gift


  • I’ve only ever given a gift at the engagement party and wedding. Never the hens do. My close friend did a high tea for hers (for the family) and then a night out. We paid our own way. But have never given a gift!


  • I’ve only attended one hens but I didn’t have to buy any gifts or gift any money I definitely brought the bride a fair few drinks to celebrate and gave her the gift of laughter by falling down stairs drunk but in my opinion that’s what a hens night is all about lol


  • I’ve never given any gifts for a hens party! The party is the gift! If I’ve only gone to the ceremony and not the reception I also don’t give a gift, just a card


  • I didn’t even know that you had to do a gift at a hen’s do. Woops. I personally wouldn’t feel comfortable about that, if you wanted to contribute maybe ask if there are any cocktail bases they want brought to the party?


  • I’m afraid I wouldn’t go to the wedding if your not allowed to go to the evening because of no kids I presume if not you your kids. I think it’s rude to ask as hens nights are usually going to clubs so it sounds boring to me. Make an excuse not to attend.


  • I don’t think I’ve ever done that either. Engagement gift and wedding gift. If I’m going out for a hens do then we all chip in to cover the bride. The mistake was probably in asking what she wanted


  • We usually do gifts for a kitchen tea, a hen’s do is usually just an outing or party.


  • i have never actually given even a present for a hens night. THAT SHOULD BE RESERVED FOR THE BRIDAL SHOWER. I think it is a bit rude.


  • I’ve never heard of gifting money. All of the ones I’ve been to have been “naughty” presents like fancy underwear, whips and chains for a laugh, that sort of thing.
    In terms of money, it’s usually you just paying for yourself in terms of the activities that have been organised.


  • I dont think I’ve even been to a hens do. I’ve been to lots of other celebrations tho and have never been asked for money


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