45 Answers

Hi all, just wondered if anyone was getting pressured or bullied into revealing their baby’s name choice?

My mum, who is overseas, is desperate to know what we’ll call our baby girl and is getting pretty angry during calls about it. She reels off all the names she hates and tries to provoke a reaction in us to know what it is.

She can’t keep secrets so we know if we told her that she would tell the whole family. She’s further angered as my cousin, her niece, is due a few weeks before and has already revealed the name, but that’s because she’s liked a particular name all her life so it was a given that their child would be named as such.

Just getting fed up now, as baby is due soon enough so why the rush to know? We didn’t reveal our first child’s name until birth which irked her, but seriously, what is her issue? I bet the name we choose she’ll hate anyway, even though it’s a normal name, but that’s our choice to make, not hers. Hormones talking or do I have a point? She just says I’m horrible for keeping it from her, but I’m really not, I just want at least one surprise for the family.

Posted anonymously, 25th February 2022

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  • If you want to keep it to yourself, then you absolutely should.
    I let people know what we were going to name our first daughter, and it led to people thinking they could criticise the name while I was still pregnant which only ended after she was born. Number 2 we kept secret, and got only positive responses.

  • You have a point and should NEVER feel pressured into doing anything you don’t want to, especially by family. I would do one of two things – next time you speak with her, ask her about when she was pregnant or had little kids, did any one ever try to tell her how to parent or what she should/shouldn’t do and did it annoy her (it likely did) and then compare that to what she is doing to you.
    OR give her a fake name to cling onto until the baby comes ha

  • I was on the same boat malmetimos family need to be told they just have to let us be

  • Your choice to not say babies name till born, she will eventually find out. How annoying.

  • You have ever right to keep your chosen name a secret. What if you see your baby and change your mind? We did, but since we hadn’t told anyone our first choice it didn’t matter that we changed it. It’s your choice not hers. Stick to your guns. And congratulations

  • You have a right to keep it to yourself. It’s awful you felt pressured to tell.

  • It is the worst feeling to have someone pressure you into reveal baby’s name, especially when its something special that you have decided you want to do. We decided to keep our daughters name a secret until birth and had so many people try to pressure us to reveal – don’t give in! Set your boundaries that if she is going to continue to be negative that you won’t reveal the name or get upset with you that you will not have the conversation with her and if needed will end calls. It is a silly thing for her to get upset over – she should be excited for the reveal! Sending you lots of love.

  • Yes some of my friends weren’t happy that I didn’t reveal my twins names earlier. But I was sticking to my decision and announced the names when they were born.

  • Nope, she has no right to pressure you. We always just said we hadn’t picked a name yet so that people couldn’t keep asking; honestly it was just easier…

  • That’s totally unfair. It is completely up to you and your partner as to when you want to reveal any details. Maybe sit down and express your feelings openly and see how she reacts.

  • Do as you please and dont let anyone bully you into anything your not comfortable with.
    My BIL and his wife announced their (quite frankly stupid) baby name, they pushed it so hard that they ended up with a bunch of personalised item with that name on it. Baby was born, and they changed the name ????‍♀️

  • It sounds like your Mum is being unreasonable and kind of having a tantrum. It is your baby and birth and your choice on when you reveal the name. Stay firm.

  • I would not be telling anyone the names we had on our list. Even now after Bub was born people are asking what other names we considered – not telling anyone these either because if we have another baby we would likely use one of these names

  • No you are right to hold onto the name until baby gets here! Good for you sticking by your guns. Mums can be pushy! Really it’s all about respect. Once you have explained that’s a secret and you are not telling, that’s, THAT! Enjoy your newborn.

  • It’s hard enough as it is without any pressure from others, it’s up to you when or if you tell anyone, but with me I never told anyone and with my last bub he didn’t have a name until he was about 4wks old.

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