Hi mums, I’ve been thrust into the deep end and can’t seem to find a fair way out. My partner and I split after 23 years we have 4 properties one in which I live in and is paid off, the other my other half lives in with a mortgage, and two rental properties one which is paid for but unrentable due to arson and the other has a mortgage and is rented.  Unbeknown to me, he also has stopped all mortgages.

My ex says I should be happy with my house (which has a lot of maintenance due). He also has boats, cars, and a family business/trust, which I was forced to sign out of. I need someone to help and advise me without costing me my home and money I don’t have. I feel intimidated and insecure help anyone please.


Posted anonymously, 18th July 2014


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  • One suggestion to get it all over and done with, is sell everything, split the profits in half and start over. Definitely seek legal advice too


  • As mentioned by the other mums you need to seek professional advice. You need a lawyer. See if you qualify for legal aid.


  • I do hope you sought and got some good legal advice around your property issues. Sometimes these issues can be ongoing and unpleasant.


  • see a lawyer and probably also a financial advisor


  • I know I’m a bit late in commenting on this one, I hope it’s no so late that you’ve been railroaded. You definitely need some legal advice. Whether it’s a call or appointment with Legal Aid or an information gathering appointment from a Family Law expert. The split isn’t always 50/50 by the way. It is worked out on contributions (both financial and non financial) by both parties over the duration of the relationship. My ex tried to bully me into a financial payout in his favour, but the split ended up being 90/10 in my favour. I hope you’ve managed to hang in there. What an awful spot to be in, and it’s horrible to have to think clearly about financial matters when your emotions are all over the place (that’s why getting legal advice is so important, they’re not emotionally invested).


  • 100% see a lawyer :) I think you’ll be suprised at how much they can help!


  • You really do need to see a lawyer that deals in property settlements/assets.


  • Definitely see a lawyer and get advice. It is 50/50, he can choose to pay you out instead of selling his items but the houses will definitely need to be worked out and that isn’t as easy as a conversation. Good luck.


  • You really need to see a lawyer, it sounds like he is trying to push you out. You won’t be able to touch his family trust, but if there are other assists gained during the marriage it is all 50 /50.. But really you need to be protected and only a lawyer can help you.


  • I would be getting some legal advice on this matter and don’t sign any thing unless you really want to and draw up a contract on what you get and what he gets. I would be selling the 2 rental places and split the money from the rentals 50/50. I would also as it seems more than one car and if you have a car already sell the extra cars and again 50/50 with the money and I would be wanting one of the boats and if you personally do not want the boat than sell it and that money would be yours as he already has a boat.
    See if you can get some info from a solicitor by phoning. The legal way will stop him from coming back and wanting more


  • I personally would contact a Property Law expert in your local area. The $$ you spend on legal fees would be much lower than what you may lose in the long run without legal representation.


  • Best thing is to pay a few hundred bucks to get some advice from a lawyer. They will let you know where you stand and you can throw a few legal terms back at your ex so he knows you are serious. You don’t need to tell him that you don’t want to pay for a lawyer long term, but let him think it. If it costs you, it’s going to cost him too, perhaps remind him of that :-)


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