My daughter’s birthday is coming up, she is turning 7. She is only having a small party this year with a few girl friends from school. This year will be her first ‘grown up’ party and I want her to enjoy it with her friends. 1 friend is not in her class and has a sister who is 4 yrs old. They are my best friend’s daughters. In the past both have been invited to my kids parties. This year though, my daughter only wants the oldest friend to come. At first I thought this would be ok and her sister can come and play with my son (they are the same age and good friends). But I am not sure how my friend will react to this with only one of her girls being ‘invited’ to the party when both girls are good friends to our family. Should I do what my daughter wants or just explain to her that they are really good friends and that my daughter is always invited to both their parties.


Posted by blondie, 20th April 2015


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  • I think it’s a good idea when the sister can come and play along with your son in which case they’re both there and both feel included. Personally I would explain to your daughter that’s important to welcome our friends and to be aware of each others feelings and how important it is to include, not exclude.


  • Perhaps the younger child can come later, say just in time for some cake.


  • I would sit down with your daughter and explain how it can hurt to be excluded. Then remind her that she has been invited to both her parties in the past. Kids a pretty sensitive, and once she realises she could be hurt by not being invited, I’m sure she’ll change her mind. Good luck!


  • Maybe talk to your daughter first and ask if she’s sure about it. If she is, I think it’s good to honor her wishes as it’s her birthday anyway and as this is a grown up party (for her), I think it’s good that she practices grown up decisions too (with some mummy help). =) Im sure the others would undertsand.


  • I’d speak to your friend and she how she feels about it.


  • It sounds to me like both the little ones will be at the party venue anyway so I don’t see the problem.


  • It would be easier to explain the situation to your friend. I was in your friends position. We all used to be invited to a cousins bday parties. Then they decided my son shouldn’t go anymore, being they’re girls and younger then him. It broke his heart at first :,( But we dropped daughter off and took son off for a fun day with mum and dad. He got over it pretty quick


  • I agree with inviting the other child!


  • I would invite the other child. Cos the mother might think it’s been done on purpose. Possibility of maybe loosing a friendship?


  • Good question. Can the sister and your son have a special treat of their own?


  • I would speak to your adult friend and explain the situation as you have written for us. I am sure that she will understand as she will probably be having similar issues with her daughters’ birthday parties.

    Perhaps you could have a small morning tea/ birthday party for both little girls with your daughter a little bit before her proper birthday party? Then the little one won’t feel like she’s missing out. Maybe something like this might be a good compromise?


  • Speak to the adult about it. As a parent she would probably understand a 7 year old doesn’t always have the best ideas! Let your friend know that her younger daughter will definitely be welcome to come keep your son company who probably also isn’t ‘invited’ by your daughter. lol


  • i would invite the child. it is only for a few hours and you wouldn’t want to offend the mother. if you are friends with their family, keep it friendly.


  • I agree with a couple of the others. Either way is fine but a nice touch would be to give the kid that’s not invited a goodie bag, if you choose not to invite. You want to keep things nice.


  • If she is your best friend then I would talk to her about it. I’m sure she would understand and might have experienced the same thing with her eldest daughter.


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