14 Answers

I have a little situation at my son’s school. He started kindy this year. He tells me he really enjoys school but his teacher just advised me that he has bitten one of his classmates two weeks ago while they were in class when the teacher was there, and bit the same child’s hat during breaktime today. His teacher said that if it happens again, they’ll have my son see a counsellor.  He’s never had any “biting” incidents before at pre-school or childcare. When I spoke to him about it, he tells me that the other child has been kicking him and annoying him. Has anyone else experienced this? How did you handle the situation? Could I please have any suggestions from other parents on what to do or say to the teacher when I meet with her?

Posted anonymously, 24th February 2015

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  • Calmly and accurately tell the teacher what your son has said. While his behaviour is wrong, and he needs to learn that, so is the other child’s, and it needs to be dealt with.

  • This exact same thing happened to a parent of a Prep this year. Her son bit another kid, which he never does, because it was a reaction to the other kid kicking him. Perhaps explain to him and reinforce that if someone hurts him that he needs to walk away and tell a teacher/ supervising adult, that violence is never okay. The kid who kicked needs to be held accountable to stop his behaviour too.

  • Tell the teacher excactly what your son says . If someone else is kicking him and he is hurt or there is a potential of being hurt then this needs to be investigated . Your son sounds like he is doing this to protect himself and perhaps the other child needs counselling ..? Good luck .

  • The other child that is doing the hurting and kicking has to be spoken to as well as his parents. I don’t blame your child for retaliating although I don’t recommend biting at all!

  • I would leave it up to the school to sort out, that’s where the problem is arising. Maybe if he sees a counsellor, he’ll open up about the annoying child and things will get fixed

  • My child has been in the same position, not biting, but certainly retaliating when another child has hurt him, he has also been kicked etc. As much as you tell your child to just walk away and tell the teacher, it is not ok for the other child to be hurting him and getting away with it. I have spoken to my son’s teacher and because the teachers often get two conflicting sides to the story, the only real option for them is to try and keep the two children away from each other. I know this probably isn’t very helpful, but this is just my experience, and it has been a difficult one at that.

  • Tell the teacher exactly what your son has told you. & get your son to tell the teacher himself as well. The teacher may have to pay closer attention to the other child & then have a discussion with their parents regarding bullying if that is what is occurring.
    You do need to remind your son if someone is hurting him he must tell a teacher & not bite. It is not okay for someone to hurt him & he must tell a teacher if it occurs at school & you when he returns home.

  • I would tell the teacher the truth as well!

  • Tell the teacher the truth – what you have written here. You are as mystified as she is.

  • I think you’re handling it well already by asking the child why he did it. Next time, explain to the teacher the reasons given for the biting, they may be unaware of other issues. If both children are spoken to, this may resolve. Being so young, it’s likely it will never happen again

  • i hope it all went well for you and he doesn’t bite now. it could just be a phase as well

  • My son was taught by his kindy teacher, that if somebody is doing something annoying, or bad to you, to say loudly ‘STOP, I don’t like it’… This was to both alert the teacher, if she didn’t see it happen, but also to let the other child know to Stop!.. My son has Autism, and can be physical when upset, this approach worked very well in his situation and has stayed with him even now that he is in school…

  • teach him to vocalise himself more. let him know that you don’t bite people and it’s not ok to let people bite you.

  • My daughter is in daycare and has problems with some children. She only wants to cuddle and be very motherly with the other children and sometimes she can be a little rough and the other children be rough back to her. I have since sat down with her teachers and all of us as a group have come up with a plan of action to make the problem disappear. When ever a child is being rough with my daughter she holds her hand out and says “Stop I do not like” She says it loud enough for a teacher to hear. Hope this helps.

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