I’m so mad at my mum. My son 7, is very feminine, and very much into girly things, like makeup, dresses, dolls and such. He acts very “artyfarty” and we as parents don’t better n eyelid, it’s who he is, and if one day, he comes out and tells us he’s gay, then it won’t be a big shock. I was talking to my mum today about Xmas gifts she could by, and I giggled about one dress in particular he loves to wear in th dress up box, how it’s “his” and he gets around in his baby sister’s dressy heals…. my mum had th hide to say we r gonna make him rethink his gender, like wearing a dress will make him want to be a girl. I’m so mad. I was a tom boy growing up, how is that any different…? I played in th dirt with my brother, with toy cars n catching lizards. I don’t feel like we r doing anything wrong in letting him be who he is…. is my mum wrong


Posted anonymously, 3rd December 2019


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  • Having the title of this as “child’s sexual preference” makes me think you’re already making assumptions on his identity. So keep in mind how you yourself are interpreting your child’s clothing preferences and behaviour. Liking dresses has nothing to do with sexual attraction or preferences. He is a child after all.
    And children are much simpler than adults. He simply could be mimicking his older sibling. I think both your mum and yourself are reading into it more than what it is, from different perspectives.
    I don’t think either of you are right or wrong. It is about perspectives and you both have the right to have your own.
    In my perspective, If he was my child I would see it as him admiring his sister and wanting to be like her. I would let him know it is great that he has that admiration, but he can also be his own person too and celebrate what makes him different compared to his sister. Give other people the chance to admire him for what makes him unique without him needing to copy others. Children are highly influenced by their environment and parents are there to guide them in healthy directions.
    So just think about what direction you are guiding your child in. If it benefits the child, then it doesn’t really matter what your mum says, because you will have more influence over him anyway.


  • I don’t think your mum meant anything by it. You are doing nothing wrong. Let him be if he is happy. There are plenty of boys who like girl’s things and vice/versa. He will discover his own identity and gender if need be in his own time.


  • Have you told him that makeup etc is a girls thing?
    maybe getting him some boys dress ups (iron man, batman, spider man etc) would save the stares and comments of a boy in a dress?!!


  • I think your mum is old fashioned, she probably doesn’t mean to be hurtful. Maybe just show her how happy your son is. And hopefully she learns to accept it or at least be quiet about it.


  • I think the older generations have differs t views as they were bought up in a different time


  • He is your child, not hers. You do what you think is best for him and just ignore her. She is wrong in this instance.


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