My In-Laws separated last year, one is in a new relationship the other not. How do we have a harmonious festive season all together?


Posted anonymously, 4th November 2019


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  • oooo book a holiday??


  • Ask them first.May be it will not their problem.


  • Invite one for christmas eve and another on christmas day . next year change around.


  • that’s an awkward situation to be in – i think like everyone else separate meeting times. Maybe christmas eve dinner for one and boxing day dinner for the other and then neither of them will be jealous that the other was there for actual christmas day and you don’t have to stress about them crossing paths at all and your christmas day can be spent focusing on enjoy the day and no stress


  • Visit one on Christmas eve and one on Christmas? That’s what we do. We have to split between 4 families because both sets of parents are divorced


  • I also agree with the separate functions arrangement.


  • My SIL has decide that she is going to do Christmas Tea and whoever shows up shows up. Thank you all for the ideas, it has made it a bit stressful this year but I’m sure it will all be enjoyable no matter how it turns out. As long as we see everyone I’m happy


  • Both my husband and I have parents who are separated, we see my husbands mothers side and family on Christmas Eve, then we try and see my family Christmas Day, we used to do lunch and dinner alternating depending what worked for them but now my dad comes to the same meal as my mother as we no longer see or speak to my step mother. My husbands father does not make the effort. Either spread thrown out even over to Boxing Day if need be or try and get them together if they are happy to


  • If they can’t get along on the actual Xmas day, you may have to alternate celebrations.


  • It all depends on where they are on their relationship with each other. Is it bitter, are they amicable? Can they be amicable and civil for one day? Maybe you need to see them separately this year?


  • can you see if any of them would do a Christmas eve celebration?


  • Separate functions might make it less awkward for everyone.


  • Oh no, family separations always bring stress to festive celebrations. Have you spoken to your in laws? Maybe they don’t have a problem sharing the day with their ex and new partner. Won’t know til you ask. If you already have that answer, definitely separate get togethers. Maybe one for lunch and the other for dinner. Or one on Xmas eve and one on Xmas day


  • I wouldn’t celebrate with both of them at the same time. It would be so awkward. Christmas with one, Boxing Day with the other.


  • It is so hard, I’m thinking separate functions but no matter which way I go I’m going to upset someone


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