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44 Answers

I had sinus surgery and my husband had a week off work to help me recover and look after our 3 kids, I overheard him telling a friend I chose to have cosmetic surgery being a nose job which was not true I had had sinus problems for years and he was so over playing Mr Mum and doctor and working is much easier. He went on to say his “prison sentence” continues until my Mother arrives next week so he can “break free” from the family. I am devastated he would be so disrespectful to me and our kids.


Posted anonymously, 30th December 2013


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  • absolutely. You deal with this now, or it will continue. Tell him to suck it up buttercup. Life ain’t all roses and the deal with marriage is that you support your spouse!


  • Some men just can’t handle being at home and he obviously resented having to play ‘mum’ for a week. Some men just don’t want to know what it’s like having to organise children and a home. Although it’s frustrating and hurtful maybe bringing up with issue might make matters worse.


  • Yes I would talk and say I heard you saying this and this to your friend, I feel sad you feel this way. I wouldn’t confront in an angry tone.


  • That’s awful! I’m sure he was being flippant, not expecting you to gear him. I would be confronting him and letting him know exactly how it made you feel


  • I’ve just come across this question again and was wondering whatever happened?


  • I would have thought that looking after the family and doing household chores might have given him some insight into the work you do and made him appreciate you more. It’s a real shame he holds the views he does.


  • I would definitely confront him on what he said,l wouldn’t be happy what so ever!


  • Geez men can be such asses!!
    I was just talking to my hubby about this sort of thing the other day. He says a lot of guys he works with talk like that about their wives/girlfriends. They think that it makes them sound tough. Lets be honest…who knows what goes through their heads at times!!
    Don’t get me wrong, I’m not condoning his behaviour at all! But if I was you, I would confront him. It will just eat you up not knowing. Good luck x


  • Oh my god what a horrible thing to over hear!
    Even if your husband is tired or frustrated after a few days/weeks of playing Mr Mum, how does he think you feel doing it all the time?
    You had a sinus problem! A medical issue! Why would he lie about that? It’s nothing to be humiliated about but to say you chose to have cosmetic surgery is a bit out of place.
    Then to say his prison sentence is almost over? Prison? Really? Has your husband ever been to prison? He should be a bit more appreciative! There are many men who would do anything for a wife & children & sadly some of them can’t have children. Perhaps your husband should think about that before he decides to describe his home life again!
    You do not deserve this, especially when you are unwell but you do deserve an explanation!
    You should ask your husband why he said the things he said!
    I hope you’re feeling better now & things have improved but your husbands behaviour was way out of line!


  • It is good reading the comments to this!


  • Oh that is so bad! What on earth would make him say that when some of it is untruths? I would absolutely talk to him about it. Found out his reasons for saying what he did. Feeling so sorry for you at the moment


  • If he actually did a good job looking after you and the children, why not just cut him a little slack and take the comment as the joke he probably intended it to be.


  • This was posted a while ago but i hope things have improved for you!


  • I would be fuming. My personality is to confront as I like things out in the open but you need to stick with what makes you comfortable. There could be a reason you did not confront earlier.


  • Hi sweetie,
    I would definitely confront your husband, but make sure you do it in a sympathetic way. Something like, “Honey, can I ask you something?, when you were home looking after me in such a wonderful way, of which I really appreciate, but why did you tell ??? that I had a nose job? That was really hurtful. It may not mean much to many people, but I don’t mind you telling them I had an operation on my sinus’ “.
    In this way you are not accusing him directly, but hopefully you will get an honest response.
    Trust me, I have had conversations like this with my husband over the 31 years we have known eachother, especially when he tells my workmates about a private moment we had on the sand after having a few drinks at our Christmas Party and I have learned to never ever go barking at a male. Always treat them gently or they will get their back up.
    I wish you all the best.
    xxx dee


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