9 Answers

My ex wife lost custody of our kids a few years ago. She neglected the kids n docs took them and I now have 100% care.
Shes recently applied for resterarion, for all kids, except 2. One is in forster care (not mine) and th other us our child. The kids will need to know sooner or later and have there own representation and it’s going to break all th kids hearts that for some reason, their mum doesn’t want them. I want the kids to want to live with me but not because of a broken heart. How do you tell them something so life changing

Posted anonymously, 8th March 2020

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  • What a difficult situation for you. I agree through counselling would be the best option or a DOCS support person.

  • How absolutely heartbreaking for you all. Going through mediation, I hope some sort of counselling would be made available to your kids. Good luck with it all

  • Aw what a heartbreaking situation. I can only imagine what it would mean when the kids are split apart and forced in decision making they didn’t ask for. I can only hope that Docs is on top of it and thoroughly investigates what’s best for the children and also speaks with the children and with you and hears your side.

  • Reassure them of how much you love them and will be there for them. As everyone else said be honest, but don’t put down their Mum. Best wishes.

  • i think you have to be honest with them while maintaining respect for their mother and her situation.

  • Never put the mother down in front of the children. Keep what you think to yourself and answer any questions as truthfully as you can without hurting the child. They may remember their mother as she was and wonder what happens if they do not feel safe with her.

  • I think be honest and straightforward, but try not to criticise their mum too much (to their faces).

  • Be honest with them, children understand more than you realise and they will eventually work out what has happened.. Just show them how much you love them and they will know who loves them

  • It is difficult however kids are resilient and bounce back easy. Its always a no win situation when children are involved. Let them know you love them and be honest with them and explain what is going on. That way they are prepared.

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