36 Answers

I’ve been really lucky. I have not had a close relative die since I was four. I’ve been to my fair share of funerals and dealt with loss but not like this. My Nan, whom I am very close to has just discovered she has a massive aggressive tumor in her abdomen. She is not frightened of dying, just of being in pain. The doctors are doing what they can to make her comfortable, but because of her age and health they can’t/won’t operate. I’m terrified. Not only because I am going to miss her immensely, our weekly lunches together and her quirky sense of humor. I’m terrified of watching my family, my Dad and Mum especially, suffer the grief of loosing her. I am running on auto pilot. I keep catching myself crying and have to remind myself that it’s Christmas time, my kids need me. My husband had to wake me up the other night because I was sobbing in my sleep. I dont know how to cope. Any advice?

Posted by maximoo, 30th December 2013

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  • We all have our own way of grieving. And you sobbing in your dreams, writing this post, looking to the sweet moments you have shared with your nan, show that you are finding your way through this.

  • You just have to roll with it. No one can predict how you will cope or what you will need to do to get through it. It’s a learning experience

  • It sounds as though you have already started your grieving process. How sad for you all. Being so long since you lost a loved one, it will be tough on you. I hope you made it through ok

  • It really is great reading the comments!

  • I don’t think there is any one single way to deal with everyone’s grief. Everybody is different and copes with grief in different ways. You could maybe seek professional help, they may help you find a way through

  • after my nan died i kept wanting to call her for ages afterwards, it takes time to feel better

  • I hope you got through this traumatic experience without too much grief

  • Sorry to hear that hun. It is extremely hard to deal with someone close passing away. I too dread the day it happens. I guess as they say – One day at a time

  • I’m so sorry for you and your family. Just know that it is OK to cry! You need to let yourself have a good cry to release some of those emotions. If all else fails, speak to your gp about your emotional health.

  • my thoughts are with you and your family

  • You really need to talk to a grief counselor. Talk to your GP for a referral. They can give you tools to help with this impeding loss. You will still grieve but you can control the times of it if you know how.

  • I hope you are surrounded with plenty of shoulders to lean on.

  • My thoughts are with you and hope some of the advice below has helped.

  • Its part of life unfortunately, eventhough its terrible way to be in pain. Just know she had a good life, and loving people around her.

  • Hard, be supportive of your family, especially your nan, by you being there for her willl help her immensely.

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