81 Answers

SIBLING RIVALRY! One mum emailed asking for help.  Here’s what she said “Hi MoMs wondering if other mums can give me some advice on how to deal with my 3 children constantly arguing, niggling, pinching and basically annoying each other!  I think I’m going to go crazy if I don’t figure out how to deal with this soon. Please help!”

Posted by Anna, 27/6/13

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  • I have 5 from 18 to 6 months. 2 middle girls 14 months apart. Only started fighting at 6 and 7. We ignore a lot of it, or we would be dealing with it all day. If it gets and we use time out and take priveliges away. Remind them siblings are for life

  • Sibling rivalry is part of growing up! You can’t take it away.

  • Goodluck, I think it is part of family life and we just hope they grow out of it themselves

  • That jus means they love eachother! I agree with Noreen… They will b best friends when they older

  • Hope you found the answer to your question.

  • My two sons always fought with each other when young (two years difference in their ages) Now that they are grown up they are the best of friends .
    Ignore them when they fight unless it becomes serious

  • I don’t think you can really stop it, my mother used to just shut the door on us or lock us in the backyard so she could get some peace.

  • age old, doesn’t ever really stop.

  • I think sometimes it cant be stopped, we need to let siblings have their rivalry! The less attention paid to it, often the less frequently it will happen :)

  • Give them a sticker chart. Or when they r good they can pick a present? The present works for me with my daughter

  • could it possibly just be an attention grab? maybe they all just need some one on one attention :)

  • I was chatting with my hubby about this, and he said, ‘Happy kids have less reason to fight than unhappy ones” which I found interesting.

  • Hope that helps good luck and hopefully they’ll stop arguing hang in there mummy :-)


    It’s a familiar scene. You’ve just come home from work after a long day. You’re hungry and tired and it’s time to fix dinner, but the kids are at it in the kitchen, fighting over whose turn it is to set the table.

    Sibling rivalry is a routine part of growing up in families, but when that fighting turns into constant arguments, fights, and the creation of some potentially dangerous situations, it should be dealt with. Here are some tips to reduce your frustration over quarrelsome siblings and lessen the fighting too.

    First, let siblings express their feelings. For example, Linda’s two sons, Ben and Adam, have had trouble getting along since they were very young. Playing often ended in grabbing toys, calling each other names, and complaining to Mom. Now as a teen and preteen, Ben and Adam are still fighting over the TV, the bathroom, and the telephone.

    Too often parents in this situation try to talk children out of their feelings by saying things like “Stop complaining. He’s the only brother you have.” Linda heard that siblings fight less when the parent describes feelings. The next time Adam complained about Ben, Linda said, “Sounds like you’re pretty mad at Ben.”

    To her amazement, Adam looked puzzled for a minute and then said, “Yeah, I am mad at him.” Then Adam went to another room to play by himself.

    It is also natural for parents to notice one child is more cooperative or better behaved than another, but comparing siblings does not encourage better behavior. It only intensifies jealousy and envy. Instead, try to comment only on the disagreeable behavior and avoid telling one child that a sibling is better at something.

    In addition, trying to avoid arguments by giving equally to each child only encourages comparisons by children. No matter how hard parents try to make things equal, children are bound to find something that’s unfair. Instead, try to give to each according to individual need.

    Don’t take sides in sibling fights. Instead, try to let children work out differences. Trying to figure out who started a fight is nearly impossible, and even if you are sure who started the fight, taking sides only makes things worse. In addition, the more you stay out of minor fights, the sooner they will learn to settle their differences.

    It may sound like fighting will stop magically if only you do the right thing, but realistically it takes time and persistence for you to learn new ways of treating you children and for them to learn new ways of getting along.

    Don’t give up. It may even seem like it is getting worse before it gets better, but in the long run you will be teaching your children how to get along better. That will prepare them for important relationships in the future.

  • Nothing I have tried works with my boys.
    The more I take away from them the more they want to annoy each other
    Sometimes I think it is fun to them

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