15 Answers

Anyone have success addressing the way their partner spends the weekly budget money? My partner prioritises beer and going out with his mates once a week. Problem is, he will spend ALL of his allocated money for the week rather than have say, one beer less and bringing home a bit of money which we could put aside for something else. It annoys me as I tend to save a bit of my weekly budget and put it towards gifts or take away yet he gets to spend ALL of his money. If I bring it up he gets the sulks because he feels like it was budgeted for him so why can’t he spend it.

Posted anonymously, 22nd October 2020

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  • If he spends it all in one go,that is his fault.lt sounds like you are more sensible with the money.

  • Move the budget and make some of it savings for gifts or for nights out together etc. If you have an amount for each of you to spend you have to let the other person spend theirs however they want even if you don’t think they should.

  • I think you’ll find this is actually quite common. Savers and spenders have a way of attracting each other.
    I think you should rearrange your budget to include take out if its something you often have. That shouldn’t come from your money.
    If its his to spend then I think its unfair to get upset when he spends it. Maybe instead try to plan things to do together and ask him to allocate some money to that before he spends it all.

  • If you have money for YOURSELF then you should spend it on YOURSELF. Fiends of ours do this too, she saves all hers for the whole year and then goes on a shopping spree for herself and he spends it as he gets it. I think she does wish he wouldn’t spend it straight away and save some of it but she knows that that’s why they budget and each to their own

  • You agreed to each other having spending money and he can spend it as he wishes as you do. (You are a saver and you are doing well that fine. ) Your problem is the gift’s and take-away foods so rearrange the budget add this heading to your list to include Birthdays and Christmas Gift giving etc.. this not out of your budget or his and this solves that problem.

  • Yes definitely try another budgeting idea. Maybe ask if you can both put money in fOr activities to do together.

  • In our household our individual budgeted money is to spend as we wish with no rules or regulations around saving etc. There is ‘serious’ money and ‘spending’ money.

  • Sounds like he needs less money budgeted just for him and more money for family activities

  • We also use the technique of having money allocated to different buckets.

  • Set lower allocations for both you and your partner, with the difference going to a separate ‘fund’ for the gifts and takeaways,

  • We sit down when it is quiet and have a cuppa and snacks and ‘nut’ out finances. Writing down the budget/finances and goals helps with a visual of where money is going and where it could go. It might be worthwhile to do?

  • Men are gunna be men so let him, If thats the budget you set then that is it. My partner and I have both combined our incomes from the start having 2 separate monies between a couple wont work forever and there will always be issues.

  • I can see his point of view. If you have a budget that has certain amounts allocated for each thing then he feels his budgeted money can be spent how he likes. If you want to save more for other things then that should be budgeted for seperately. Maybe have a good look at your overall budget again. Make sure you coat out everything including gifts and some money set aside for ‘just in case’. Do you have a savings goal? You could work on this together to see how much you need to set aside each week. Once all the necessities and savings are worked out then you can see how much you each can get for weekly allowance. Gifts and savings shouldn’t just come out of your allowance. Good luck.

  • I can kind of see his point – if it’s allocated “for him”, then it’s reasonable to spend it how he likes. The problem is you using “your” money for joint things. Stop doing that; take presents etc out of the joint money. If there’s a budget problem, then eventually this will force a conversation.

  • We don’t stick to an exact budget each week and although my husband brings in the main income we have always just shared all the money, I can see how that would be frustrating for you though.

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