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I have a friend who I’m growing apart from and I think we need to go our separate ways. We are moving in opposite directions. We have had a great friendship since our children were babies but now they are at school. Mine are in public hers in private and she has a new set of school friends. I have tried to get her to open up and have catch ups but she always tells me the kids are sick or she is too busy. But then I see on Facebook that she is playing at a play centre with her new friends….this make me sad, angry and feel terrible….I do not have a lot of friends in fact I can count them on one hand….so how do I move on or do I confront her about it…..or do I just let it slip away.


Posted by ehooper, 4th June 2015


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  • What you donall depends on whether you want to keep the friendship or not. If you do, have a chat with your friend, let her know how you’re feeling. There’s no reason why you can’t go with her on play dates with her new school friends, you might make new friends yourself. If she’s not keen on keeping in contact, then you’ll have to let it go


  • I know the feeling, I think we all do. But friendships come and go. Personally I would just let it slip away. When it comes to another catch up here and there that would be nice, but see if you can build new friendships with mums of the same school as your kids, a sports club or anywhere you go. You could also sign up for a course when the kids are at school or in the evening and see if you meet new people. Btw I also can count my friendships on one hand and to be honest I do not think it’s too little, I think it’s enough


  • You have tried and offered playdates etc. So it’s time to let go. We all move in circles as life goes on. If you feel you need friends then do a course at night and let your partner look after the kids. Do a community course arts and craft or a language or anything that suits you. Find people who have the same interests as you. If your kids need friends join a local Little Athletics group in your neighbourhood with great parent and children all enjoying the day.


  • I think reach out to her once or twice more, and if you don’t get a response, then let it slip away. It’s sad but people do grow apart.


  • I’d feel really sad too :(
    I suppose the best thing is to let it go. You don’t know where her head is at and it doesn’t really matter. What does count is that she is not making an effort to maintain the friendship. Respect your self and your worth. You deserve good and honest friendships with people who care about you. Maybe this is a good time for you to make new friendships with your new school Mums too :)


  • Let it go. It does seem as though your friend has already done so. Don’t be said to not have a lot of friends, it’s the quality of friends, not the quantity.


  • When you keep making an effort and your friend not, it will wear you out, you’ll keep on getting hurt and might start feeling bitter and insecure. I would suggest to let her go, but stay kind in contact when you see her.
    Making new friends can be hard. When you’ve kids at primary school, a great way to make new friends is to be there at school for the pick up and drop off. Chat with the mums of your children classmates and invite their friends and mums over for playdates.


  • I would talk to her one on one,sound’s like her life is different now.


  • A confrontation may just make both of you more uncomfortable with the same outcome. Move on and try to make some new friends that enjoy being with you without it being hard or an effort.


  • I agree with the other MoMs who have suggested that you let it go. Perhaps you could join a sporting club to meet new people.


  • It looks to me like your friend has moved on and is no longer interested in putting in an effort with you. Which is sad, but do you really want to keep making an effort for someone who isn’t prepared to do the same for you? Let it go, you’ll be fine


  • I think there is no point in trying to cling onto this friendship that she has moved away from. Sounds like she’s already ‘broken up’ with you. Maybe you can go and try and meet some new mothers from your child’s school.


  • A friendship is a two way street and if she feels it does not mean the same to her as it does to you then perhaps you are best to move on. it is a shame.


  • Unfortunately looks like she’s already made the decision for you. If she doesn’t appreciate you, and you find you’re always the one making the effort, let it go.


  • fROM WHAT YOU HAVE SAID IT SEEMS THAT YOU AND YOUR FRIEND HAVE MOVED APPART AND SHE IS MAKING NEW FRIENDS, IT DOES HAPPEN AND IT IS ALL PART OF LIFE.. I HAVE BEEN THEIR AND DONE THAT. MY RESPONSE IS INVITE YOUR CHILDREN’S FRIENDS FROM THEIR NEW SCHOOL OVER AND MUM TOO SAY FOR A BBQ..SAUSAGES ,BREAD AND SAUCE ARE INEXPENSIVE IF COST A PROBLEM… THIS IS ONE WAY OF MEETING NEW PEOPLE VIA YOUR CHILDREN. ALSO MY KIDS WHEN YOUNG PLAYED SPORTS, I HAVE SONS SO IT WAS,SWIMMING,FOOTBALL ,CRICKET,i DID CANTEEN AND ALSO END OF SEASON WE HAD PARTY EITHER AT HOME OR IN A PARK, INVITE ALL AND SEE WHAT HAPPENS. ALL THE BEST HOPE THESE SUGGESTIONS ARE OF HELP.. IT WORKED FOR ME. i AM STILL FRIENDS WITH THEM EVEN THOUGH OUR KIDS GROWN UP,NOW WE MEET FOR BIRTHDAYS AS ADULTS AS KIDS GROWN UP. I ALSO NOW HAVE OTHER FRIENDS MET THROUGH DIFFERENT ACTIVITIES I DO, ART AND WRITING GROUPS… I AM TELLING YOU THIS AS I KNOW FROM EXPERIENCE. TIMES AND THINGS CHANGE AND WE HAVE TO DO SAME, HARD AT FIRST, BUT IT IS WORTHWHILE AND CHANGE IS GROWTH AND GOOD. PLEASE TRY NOT TO FOCUS ON BEING UPSET BY YOUR FRIENDS BEHAVIOUR,NIT YOUR FAULT… ALL THE BEST, HOPE THIS IS HELPFUL JEANNIE
    PHOTO OF MY OLD FRIENDS ATGET TOGETHER FOR MY NEPHEW VISITING ME FROM ENGLAND


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