21 Answers

How do you handle family members you don’t like, and are there any you just don’t speak to anymore?

Posted by mom160421, 16th October 2015

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  • I don’t speak to anyone in my extended family. I found all the negativity I had to constantly face when I had time with them just wasn’t worth it. I sometimes think I wish it were different, sometimes I miss them, but I am happier without

  • Thank you for all your replies. I’m still estranged from my brother and his family, and I doubt we will every re-connect, but rather than thinking about all I’ve lost, I focus on all the freedom I’ve gained and all the nasty comments I’ve missed out on. There is always a silver lining.

  • There are 2 uncles I refuse to speak to because of how stupid and idiotic they act and have been towards my family (their own brother).. But because my extended family is so big I couldn’t care less!

  • You do hear of families not talking or even being in the same room as other family members. I am fortunate I really love being around my family,

  • it is hard to keep in contact with everyone but we all get along ok and other times you just bite your tongue lol.

  • Well this Xmas is complex as my brothers wife and my mother dislike each other and it is a very bad personality clash and also caused by a lot of past triggers which they can’t let go . Hence it was best one of them not turn up for the family gathering . The thing is we all have to take responsibility for our actions. If it is that bad and you feel there will be conflict arising , sometimes it is best to find a way to do something else away from that person . We do our best to be the best ourselves and appreciate the good things in life and other people . We have the right to make personal decisions for ourselves and be respected for it . It is hard to please everyone in the world and not everyone is going to like us as well, so we just have to find a way to do our best . Hope it works out .

  • There are plenty, on both sides of the family, that we no longer have anything to do with. On hubby’s side, it was a case of his mum dying and his siblings showing their true colours. On my side, my sisters hubby died,mshe got a new partner a few years after and we were shut out. My brother has been holding a grudge against me for years for stuff I did as a teen, I only got him to fess up, and that was the end of that!

  • No I do not.
    I come from a very large family & due to my parents feuding with their siblings it affected my relationships with my cousins, Aunts & Uncles. It is very hard to try & form a relationship with relatives you’ve never really known & hear the horrible stories of why things turned out the way they did, who was at fault & so on.
    It had nothing to do with me, I don’t want to know about it & I surely don’t want my children knowing about it!
    I did try so my children could hopefully know their extended family but I won’t tolerate my children having to endure hearing old family war stories & bad mouthing of relatives, it is not fair on them or me.

  • There are some that I just don’t communicate with anymore, as the negative interaction was starting to affect me. I feel happier now I don’t, and can move forward without negativity.

  • A good and well considered answer mom71809. Very true and it is all about being respectful of the differences and treating people the way you like to be treated.

  • Honestly don’t know anyone that can say open heartedly they get along with all family members – immediate or extended! Blending of so many different personalities, life styles, values – only thing in common being related

  • Families can be a mixed bag and keeping your immediate family intact is important. Other relatives have to earn your respect and be respectful too.

  • I hope you do get to see your grand-daughter frequently YOUNGOLDLADY. As for the situation with the rest of your extended family, it’s very sad. I used to be the type of person that could never understand why families had falling outs, until it happened to me. Now I’ve learnt to appreciate all the good in my life, especially the people who love and accept me for who I am, and not to take it all for granted because it can change very quickly.

  • That is a mine field there. At the moment none of my husband’s family will really talk to me and as for my own I found it easier to not speak to them. My sisters think that they are better then me as they have money success in their lives. I count my riches as my children being happy and I am learning to live with that. I have not stopped my older children from contracting any relatives they want as that is their choice not mine to make. At the moment the mother of my grand daughter is finding excuses why i can not see my grand daughter, leaving only to see her if my son brings her over here, not easy to do.

  • I posted this question because I am estranged from my only sibling, my brother. The problems started when he married a horrible self-centred woman, then he slowly but surely became as nasty as her, and my relationship with them ended when I decided that after ten years I’d had enough of their arrogance and hostility towards me. Reading the MoM answers here, it seems there are many happy families, but there are also those with their own set of problems.

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