35 Answers

My partner works a physical job and also studies at night twice a week.
Because I’m on maternity leave, I feel obligated to do all the night wakes…
My partner never offers, but will do it if I ask/ wake him.

Do you and your partner share task of when your baby wakes at night? Even if he has work the next day

Posted anonymously, 16th June 2022

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  • He will help sometimes. I breastfeed so he obviously can’t feed baby but he will occasionally change the baby’s nappy.

  • Nope. My partner did nothing for our kids. It’s caught up with him now they’re adults. They barely speak to him

  • I did the nights myself but it was my choice. I was also working but my late husband had to be up at 5 so he could get to work by 6. He couldn’t afford to have a lapse of concentration or he could have been seriously injured. I didn’t have to start until 7 and I was only a couple of minutes from work anyway. It worked for us but on the weekends or days he wasn’t working he did everything around the house and would get up during the night and try to settle them.

  • 3 kids and I always did it

  • While on Mat leave I did 99% of the wakes. Unless I was exhausted. I found when that happened telling hubby to do the wakes over the weekend (even if I still ended getting up) helped me to mentally switch off to get a better sleep because I knew someone else was in charge.

  • At the moment I do night feeds as I’m on mat leave, but disgusted between us we will share that when I go back to work

  • We are similar where I am on maternity leave and my husband works full time. Because I’m breastfeeding our baby mostly wakes for feeds at night. My husband offers to give her a bottle but it means I’d have to pump anyway so I just get up and do it. We did share a bit more with settling when she was a newborn but now it’s pretty much all on me.
    Maybe you could ask them to help when they have a day off at night time so you get a break?

  • it is just as important for bonding with your child and giving you a break that he also does at least some of the night feeds/wakes

  • Mine never helped. I came home with premmie twins, and for the first 11 nights I did all night every night, until I begged and pleaded for help. Even then I had to wake him up to do it, and he’d sometimes try and get out of it. Most of the time he wasnt even working. This is why I’m now a solo parent!

  • Yes, my hubby did when he could. We had to bottle feed so he was able to help. Initially, he would get up with me as I was unwell when I returned home from hospital. But over time it became a shared thing.

  • As my husband had to get up early every morning he didn’t help with the night feeds plus I was breastfeeding. He would bring the baby in to the bedroom in the morning if she was a wake before he went to work otherwise he didn’t do much until my little girl was about 2. I didn’t mind.

  • All depends on the dad. Most are not as hands-on as we would wish, but if you have planned carefully throughout the pregnancy then you might be a very lucky mum.

  • My child’s dad barely did any of the baby stuff. I basically had to do all the feeding, changing, bathing etc. The worst was him not understanding that a baby cannot just sit in a soiled nappy and should be attended to promptly not “in a minute”. This was all heartbreaking for me, as we had planned for our child – yet didn’t help.

  • I think it depends on each family, but the support I’m receiving from my husband means a lot to me. In the first months during the night my husband would help with the nappy changes , and then pop the bub to me to nurse. Now my bub is 1yo, I’m still getting exhausted after a day with my bub and house chores. My husband works but still wakes up and brings the bub to me to nurse.

  • First baby he helped a lot more. Our second baby, nope. I do all the wake ups, even now that he going to sleep without the boob a bit more.

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