I do hope you reached out and asked for help. You seem to have been in a bad place when you wrote this

Your post is very worrying and I hope you have been able to get help for your depression. Please keep on top of it with counselling and even medication if that helps. I hope you find peace.

Dear precious person! I too have suffered all my life from depression. It was passed down thru my parents. I struggled with it and do still struggle with it. I went through divorce lost my job lost my child to her father and had to live with my parents again at age 46. I cannot promise you to be totally free because there still are days when thoughts come back to me why am I alive what reason do I have to live no one cares whether I live or not. I know it is not true. There are people who do like me and appreciate me being in their life. I learned to be grateful for the things I do have: I am beautiful at 57 year of age I am healthy I have a job I enjoy I have sisters and family members, nieces and nephews, a healthy beautiful daughter a mother age 84 but still alive. I learned to control the thoughts I allow to think. I learned to stop thoughts of past events that make me sad and to rather think thoughts that uphold me think of people or friends that make me laugh go out with people I enjoy being with who really encourage me and make me feel good. But still the one and only thing that really keeps me going is knowing that there is a God a Father who loves me who cares who is always there for me when I am all alone. I read the Bible and take every word seriously and believe it when Jesus says: come to me all who are heavy laden I will give your soul rest. I may weep I may tell him all my worries and desires and my emptiness and HE fills me with HIS love and HIS peace. I hope this will help you a bit. Love you and believe me you are not alone with this.

Can’t you seek professional help? Sounds like you need it ASAP. Even if you call Lifeline anonymously and talk to someone.

go and have a talk to your doctor. he can help you find people to talk to and he can give you anti-depressants etc. good luck

My family have a history of mental illness too. I have borderline personality disorder and major depression. It’s bloody hard. I so feel for you. Please don’t give up. You need to seek help asap. Go to your GP and talk about how you are feeling. Maybe you could get a mental health care plan which enables you to see a psychologist for 10 sessions at a reduced rate. Have you tried anti-depressants? They don’t miraculously make it better, but they can help get you on a more even keel. Also, some medical centres have a mental health nurse who can be of support. You sound like you should call your local mental health crisis team. They can assess you and maybe visit you at home or admit you to hospital if needed. I have an 8 year old son. So many times, I have been close to giving up, but he is what keeps me alive. Just don’t you give up! Do something to help yourself and your daughter now. I will be thinking of you. I send you a big hug through this message. I hope you feel it. xxx

holy shit this is a bit deep for a MoM question – seek help, seek help!!!!

There are a lot of sufferers out there and also a lot of help available. You need to reach out fir help, for your daughters sake! First stop your local GP

You are not alone. There are many of us who have depression, and also have a history of depression in the family. My heart goes out to you. You need to talk to your doctor.He/she will be able to guide you down the right path. There is also online help, people who you can talk to who listen and understand. Do you not have any family or friends who can help? Someone you can talk things out with? I hope you find the help you need. Prayers are with you

I am so sorry you are going through this alone, please if you ever get really down contact lifeline or maybe seek out a therapist who can help you? I’ll be thinking if you x