42 Answers

I’m 28 and we have a 10(G),9(B) and 4(G) year old. We are thinking about having a fourth child. What things should we consider? Do the age gaps really make a difference? Is the pregnancy and birth recovery much harder the fourth time around? How many kids do you have and is it more or less stressful between the third and the fourth?

Posted by vidald79, 29th January 2014

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  • When you long for a fourth child then go for it ! No age gaps don’t make much difference in my opinion.
    We have 4 kids age 16, 15, 11 and 7yrs old now, the youngest 2 have special needs.
    Sure you may need a bigger care and a bigger house, but they will give you much joy :)

  • I’m curious as to what you decided. Did you have a fourth child? I hope all is well.

  • ive got 2 young boys but your ages gaps should be good! hope it went well

  • A 4th child would complete your family

  • If you want another child and your partner does also do it. Don’t worry about what anyone thinks.

  • Fourth child instantly means bigger car.
    Age gaps, well I think that it depends on the family whether age gaps work or do not. There was 8 years between me and my sister and 6 between me and my brother. I loved them to bits and they protected me like anything. I don’t think its an issue.
    I find with pregnancy/labour/ recovery that my pregnancy and labour go ok its the recovery that I struggle most with. I find that the cramping days after giving birth where everything is contracting back to where it used to be is the worst pain for me which I have been told by the doctors gets worse with each child as the body has to work harder to get back to the way it was.
    I have 3. 10, 5, 3 and would I consider another.. yes (but we aren’t quite ready yet). For us, as much as we would love a fourth, we have just gotten to a stage where we can do so much with the kids (we were doing it before anyway, but now its just easier). Bike rides, camping, riding to school all those things we can do again fairly easily where as a new baby will slow us down on those things and we want to enjoy every minute with the children while we still have them around. my concern with a baby now, is my oldest in the next few years will want to spend less time with me and more time with friends and I want to enjoy every minute with him while I can. Luckily im still young enough to have one in 5 years if the urge comes.

    I do have a friend who had a 10 and 9 year old and just had a baby. She has loved going back to the baby stage and the girls love having a baby to dote over.

  • be reassured that you know your family dynamic well and if you are ok with having another child, go for it!

  • I think it’s all up to how you feel about it

  • It will all depend on your own personal situation, weather you can accommodate a fourth child both physically and financially. There is always room in families for more children but it’s generally a very personal decision, you need to do what is best for both yourselves and the children.

  • All families are different age gaps mean nothing all children are special

  • I am 29 with 11y, 10y, 4y and an 8mth. We wouldnt have it any other way,
    Some down sides are: bigger car, traveling and needing a “family/dorm room”, getting names mixed lol, the older 2 tend to feel “left out” a bit or annoyed with the younger siblings,
    But in saying all that, there is always something to do, someone to talk to, play with, as the older ones get older baby sitters lol,
    I love our large family

  • I don’t think the gap makes a big difference, other than the older kids can help you out

  • I think if you want another child and can afford to financially and time wise, then go for it! I don’t think the age gap matters. Recovery shouldn’t be any harder than the first three times!

  • If you want another child, do it, there is nothing worse than regret! I don’t have four kids myself, but I the youngest of four, with five years between me and my sister and eleven years between me and the eldest – it was fine, and my mum had baby sitters in my older siblings.

  • In the short term the kids may have some differences … but once all adults it wont matter. your recovery should be quicker

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