27 Answers

My son is 4 now and he is quite happy going to the toilet at daycare but when it comes to using it home he won’t do it. He asks for a nappy but I won’ give him one and he will just hold it as long as he can. He goes to the bath and pees in the bath, but for number 2s he just won’ t do it until he gets a nappy for sleeping. I ask to him constantly if he needs to go but he says he does’t like the one at home because it’s big, but then at the shopping centre they have a small toilet but he won’t use it either. We are going overseas in May and I really want him to get toilet trained before then but not sure what to do…Suggestions would be great!

Posted anonymously, 11th February 2014

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  • Have you offered a potty? Or even a little loo seat to pop onto the big toilet seat? These could help. He seems a bit traumatised by the big toilet……I wonder why?

  • Oh dear! How did you resolve this? Is it because daycare have size appropriate toilets and sinks? Kindof wish they out these in houses also!

  • i had to introduce my child to using it. we had always kept the door shut but now leave it open and got the whole potty seat and stool and that was encouragement enough to use it

  • We tried everything with our 4 year old boy. He was just petrified of pooing in the loo or potty. He had been weeing no probs since turning 2. He wouldn’t do a poo in the loo for rewards of books, toys, clothes or junk food. We sang songs, we read books as distractions, I showed him movies on our tablet. We tried cutting a hole in the nappy and sitting him on a potty or the loo. Scared him even more. Eventually it took 3 days of Parachoc- a stool softener. Meant by day 3 when he had to go he had to go!! Still took a while the first few goes as he’d hold on to it with all his might but eventually we got there. After a few weeks he began doing it all by himself-even wiping really well. Good luck. Its such a frustrating thing!

  • Do parents of ‘boy’s still put a ping pong ball in the loo and ask them to aim for it? We were going to do it but our son just got the hang on it nearly immediately so phew….

  • There are ‘activity’ potties which you could buy! They have a steering wheel and buttons to press which might keep him sitting on the potty long enough to go to the toilet!

  • i had this problem it took time. try a rewards chart a specila toilet edition with poos and wees and a star for each successful attempt.

  • The toilets are a lot smaller at most daycare centres, you could try getting a little seat for him that goes over the big seat, my so was scared of falling in.

  • make it fun for him

  • I just made it like it was no big deal. I’d sit him on the toilet & I’d fluff around cleaning the basin or folding washers & chatting to him about our next activities….after he does a poo of course. Then to the park we’d go !

  • Also maybe try a potty for him to do poo in, he may find it safer

  • He might not like the splash it makes, especially on a big one, or maybe feels like he is going to fall in. Do you have a 4 year old friend who uses the toilet all the time, maybe he can tell him its cool to go to the big people toilet.

  • Try one of these…..


    They are great and give your child a sense of security. Plus it makes the actual seat smaller so that he wont feel like he might fall in.

  • I would try a little step ladder seat, or try 2 hour toileting. Take him shopping for some really great undies and pj’s and tell him that the pj’s are for when he doesn’t need a nappy.

  • We’re toilet training Master 3 at the moment and using a rewards scheme. We bought a couple of cheap Advent Calendars just after Christmas (gotta love those sales) with chocolate treats behind each door, and Master 3 would get a chocolate for every time he went to the loo by himself. We have no trouble with peeing in the toilet now, but are still working on No. 2s. We stopped giving him the treats for peeing because he’s done so well, so we are saving the treats for when he does do No. 2s.

    We’ve been going through this process since 2 January, so you can say it’s taken a few weeks. But, he’s getting the hang of it, even though there are still accidents here and there. Hang in there – your little man will soon get the hang of it too. Some kids just take a bit longer to “get” this whole toilet training thing.

    Good luck.

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