36 Answers

My 7 year old goes to his father’s every other weekend . When he returns he thinks he doesn’t have to listen to mum . Dad does things differently and has no problems or fights with him . How can I get my son to understand that mum is someone he has to listen to and he does have consequences for every action. I have gotten very strict with him over the past month because of this and all I get is “I don’t like you” ” your not fair” and I hate it here”. Please help me out!


Posted by sizzormomma, 16th April 2014

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  • I think it’s important to discuss things with your ex and for you two to be on one line. Acting in your child’s best interest is most important. The key to successful co-parenting is to separate the personal relationship with your ex from the co-parenting relationship. It may be helpful to start thinking of your relationship with your ex as a completely new one—one that is entirely about the well-being of your children, and not about either of you.

  • It’s tough now, but he will thankful for it when he’s older. Maybe a chat with dad, if dad is open to do things a little differently, it could make life easier for you

  • Maybe a good talk with dad, set some rules and boundaries for you to both stick to.

  • Oh dear. I don’t have any advice sorry but lots of hugs! You are doing a great job!

  • Have a chat with your ex and get him on the same page as you. Keep trying, good luck.

  • I don’t think he needs to ‘understand’ that he needs to respect you, he just has to do it. Sounds like you’re doing a great job, keep up the strictness but with lots of praise and cuddles too. Good luck!

  • You son probably gets his own way with his Dad, making it so much harder for you when he returns home. You will need to talk to your ex and get him on board.

  • I think you need to try to establish some consistency

  • you need to talk to your ex and try and help each other out, he is both your child and needs to grow up to be a good decent person and this wont happen if parents don’t work together and help each other

  • Sometimes kids just need time to understand, you need to talk to your husband to make sure he backs you when it comes to your son and doesn’t say anything bad about you. A friend of mine went through something similar and it took a few years but her boys now understand, love and appreciate her!

  • Sorry to say this , but if dad doesn’t back you then you will always be the strict one. One plus is that in the long run when he is older he will thank you, and not thank dad.

  • Keep up what your doing! He won’t understand for a while but when he does he’ll appreciate it!!!

  • one day he will understand the situation and will realize you discipline him for a reason, keep persisting your doing the right thing. The only way to try and smooth it out a little is talk to the ex and try to work on the same playing field.

  • If you can talk to your ex and explain what is happening at your house maybe he can talk to your son about different rules at different houses and needing to respect his mum. It is really hard i am a step mum to a now 15 year old and she spent 3 weeks with her mum (no rules at all) then 3 weeks with us with quite strict rules and it was really hard. we kept explaining (when she was younger) that there are different rules for different houses and she had to respect it. it is common for kids to struggle going from house to house and you are not alone with your son acting up. Communication is the key to this issue, try to gently remind him of the rules of your house when he comes back (not straight away) and remember they do get a little confused. good luck it is not easy.

  • It is very hard but he will grow out of it. For some reason fathers cannot do wrong in the eyes of our children. It will get better but you also have to communicate with the father and try and work it out. If you do this then he knows his father knows and he will not argue with you as you are both on the same side.

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