23 Answers

I met him when I was 13, we were together until I was 17. I lost my virginity to him, we were together for 4 years, living together for almost the whole time. We were engaged and I stupidly fell into the group that were trying drugs and I messed things up and left him. We lost contact when I was 18. He ended up with my cousin (through marriage, her and I only met once before this) and she stopped him from talking to me.

He came back into my life as a friend 2 years ago, nine years after we originally lost contact. But my feelings have always remained the same since we broke up. I’ve loved him every single day. The minute I saw him again, I just broke. I knew he was the one that got away.

His getting married in 15 days and it’s killing me. I know he has moved on and I’m happy he is happy but it just breaks my heart that he is not with me. I’ve tried everything to move on, I’ve been with others, stayed on my own. Gotten rid of everything he gave me. We weren’t in contact for years yet I STILL feel so deeply for him and think about him every day.

How do I move on when i’ve tried everything :(

Posted by christie_miller, 8th July 2014

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  • If it’s meant to be, he’ll end up finding his way back to you. Not much else you can do but wait

  • I hope you have been able to move on and find happiness.

  • It is very hard to get ove your first love but you just have to move on and create a happy life for yourself,hope all is good for you now!

  • Live your life without any expectations about him. You never know what the future may hold.

  • A hard one! You could be one of those couples that end up together after years apart and realise you were meant to be. Who knows? So don’t give up, but don’t sit around moping either, get out and live a little

  • How are you coping with it all?
    I hope all is going well and your future is looking brighter. xo

  • i hope that you are dealing with this alright and have moved on

  • I really liked reading everyone’s comments and I agree just focus on your future that’s great that you are happy for him and it’s heartbreaking that he didn’t choose you but you have your whole life ahead of you now x

  • You have to move on ,he’s not getting upset ur not in his life ,you shouldn’t either .Keep busy

  • This sounds harsh, but cut him out of your life and grieve for him like he has passed away. Then time will heal the deep wounds leaving a memory scar. It is not an easy thing, but living in some hope is worse.

  • I know what you mean and it is hard when your first love is such a long one rather than a fling. My first love, we were 13 and split at 20… I remind myself of all the bad things when we were together and all the good things I have succeeded since we haven’t been together. Focus on yourself and your future, i am now happily married with 2 beautiful little girls. He has moved on and is getting married so leave him be and find yourself your future. Good luck

  • There is no step by step procedure to ‘moving on’ unfortunately.
    We all have to deal with things differently.
    I wonder if you could talk to him about how you feel & see what happens.
    I know the pain you’re going through is terrible, but everything happens for a reason.
    It will all be okay in the end, if it’s not okay, it’s not the end!
    Good luck x

  • You need to remember why you left, if everything was soo good, you wouldn’t have left. Something was not right

  • I like Wendy’s response. I honestly am probably the last person to give relationship advice but what I do know from experience is that Wendy is right, if your head is in the past that is where your life will stay and you might not realise who is looking your way and engage with them instead of past feelings that are only going to make you unhappy which ever way this went.

  • Honestly, it will be so hard but you really have to distance yourself. I hope I’m not being too harsh but you mentioned you messed things up and it ended your relationship with him. From what i can hear you’d jump at the opportunity to have a second chance despite who you might hurt in the process. Don’t let your selfishness tear your family apart, don’t let your selfishness tear his marriage apart. Respect yourself, your cousin, his future wife and your family, grow up and cut him off until you can control yourself.
    Harsh words, but said with love and experience ok?

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