55 Answers

How do you handle overnight stays with other parent? – I have an almost 3 year old who currently stays 2 separate nights a weeks at her father’s. These nights are “school nights” as he works every weekend and is not able to change this. At the moment I have no issues with the living arrangements, my concern is when she starts school she will be spending a different night at each parent’s house and this might cause distraction or disruption at school. At the moment she attends childcare and next year she is going to preschool. I find her very unsettled the night after she’s stayed at her father’s and she ends up in my bed during the night. Her father is very controlling and I have much difficulties explaining things to him, let alone this concern. His response is either “she’ll have to deal with it” or the latest one was “I guess the courts will have to decide who is the fitter parent”. Does anyone have any advise or supporting documentation regarding overnight stays on a school night. I understand that this is about 2 years away, and that she might handle it totally fine. But I am already having a bit of anxiety even thinking about the potential issue.

Posted by anon, 05/11/13

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  • Come up with ground rules and try to continue the normal routines as much as possible. Good luck.

  • I have no expereince in this. so sorry i cannot be much help

  • there are some good comments here

  • I’m sure she will be fine.

  • We do shared care with my step sons (%50 time at each house) and it works well, even on school nights.

  • You can always discuss with legal Aid who could advise on the documentation aspect

  • Some good answers – I hope it works out and not to worry about it too much.

  • i hope its worked out?

  • They learn to adapt, but if its really concerning you. Please try and work something out that works for all of you. Goodluck :)

  • Good luck with what ever you decide

  • Really good answers here, hope some are helpful

  • dont think about the future, think and live now..she will be fine and as she gets older she will understand the different rules etc

  • if it is not a problem now then it should not be a problem later. just make sure they have 2 sets of everything so you are both organised ie uniform etc.

  • Kids adapt- i would be more worried about ensuring she has a good sleeping routine.

  • Some lovely supportive answers here.

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