19 Answers

My daughter frowns every Day going to school, I feel so helpless. She has always been a cry baby and wanting so much affection and attention from mum only, I try to talk to her a lot to spend time with lil brother and sister or father but she dosen’t like anyone else’s company. I scold her a lot for this but I also do try not to isolate her so I do give her a little company but in that time too I keep telling her she should try to spend some fun time with dad, siblings and kids in school. But she likes to rather stay alone or with me only. How can I make her understand to become socially pleasent person. Will rewards work?

Posted anonymously, 10th March 2014

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  • Following this as my toddler is the same with daycare.
    Sure punishes me and her dad by saying she doesn’t like us and wants to live permanently at her grandparents’ place. It absolutely breaks my heart.

  • Looks up OT mummy on Google for building resilance strategies

  • no idea, theres this Asian girl in my sons kindy who is the same, crys every day but shes fine as soon as class starts. usually same the day care drop offs too..

  • I’m sure she will grow out of this, and you will miss it and be terribly sad. She’s only young, when she grows up a little, it will change

  • Has she ever had a few hours away from you, perhaps with grandparents? It could be that she has an anxiety disorder of some type–or a very mild case of something like Autism that hasn’t been diagnosed. Cases of some intellectual disabilities diagnosed here at school are are diagnosed in USA by the child’s 2nd birthday. A friend of mine worked as a child care worker in the USA. In the therapy group there was a not quite 2 y.o. boy who had already started having speech and other therapies. By the time he was 3.y.o he was going every day for part of it and the children had a nap after lunch before they went to their next session. They have compulsory Health Insurance over there. Here if a child with a similar disability goes through the public system they go once a fortnight, more likely once a month. If you take a child to a phsycologist privately in Aust. privately you incur a gap of $100.00+

  • being a mummy’s girl doesn’t make her socially unpleasant.

    Check first she isn’t being bullied/likes her teacher etc.

    Ask her what you can do to help with the separation, reassure her that you will pick her up etc.

    Ask her what you can do to help her settle into school – would you volunteering help, would you leaving her at the gate help, would you leaving her with a particular friend help?

  • There seems to be an underlying issue here. First I would chat to a GP and get her a general check to make sure no health issues, then maybe talk to the school, see if you can come to class for a few minutes each morning. gradually shortening the time to sort of wean her into school?

  • i would talk to the school and see if they can help in any way

  • Rewards may work, I guess you won’t know unless you try. But you do indeed have to be firm with her, and let her know that she can’t spend all her time with Mummy, or you’re just making the problem worse. Good luck!

  • I think best to speak to the teacher/principal to get advice sincethey are far more experienced in these matters.

  • I had the same problem with one of my boys, he would cry and just not let go when it came time to go into the classroom. I spoke to his teacher and she suggested that we try having him in the classroom before the other students to settle him and she also seated him with some very pleasant children, not loud ones. This seemed to help, after a couple of weeks he told me he didn’t need me to stand there and wait with him. I was happy and sad at the same time, he didn’t need me anymore! I wish you luck.

  • you have to be cruel to be kind at times and you need to be strong for her and tell her she needs school and other friends

  • have you had any progress with this?

  • You can only build up her confidence and get her excited about school, it will pass, talk to her teachers too, they may make you feel a lot better we had a girl in my sons class who would wail until the minute her mother got in the car, cracked me up!

  • there are some good comments here

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