7 Answers

my 10 year old son wont make friends :( i told him to at least make one friend so he isnt lonely on lunch breaks, but he said he is over trying to make friends cos they always want to do something else and never want to do what he wants to do. So he has just accepted lonliness :(
he knows i was like that, but i was ok with having one friend to hang with. I know I should leave him be.. but it was heartbreaking for me not having friends, and i dont want him to feel the same way..
how do i changed his mind and ask him to make friends? so far i have said find other kids his age alone, but he just flat out refuses too. :(
I dont want him going into high school not having the social skills required to make new friends.
I would love suggestions and advise..

Posted anonymously, 31st May 2019

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  • Have you had a chat to the teacher about your concerns? They might be able to offer some strategies to help. Also is there an activity that he enjoys doing? Finding some like-minded people in a club or group could also help his confidence and be a way of meeting new people

  • Yes, I would look to his interest too and look if you can enroll him at an after groups school activity like sports, karate, scouting, football, rugby, ninja warrior or so

  • Maybe ask him to choose one or two kids from class and invite them over after school or take them to the movies or to time zone or somewhere fun. Sometimes hanging out in a setting other than school helps friendship form. Or, as other have suggested sports or hobbies are a great way to meet like-minded kids as well.

  • I like the suggetions about finding groups he may be suited to. One of my daughter’s friends became far nicer and social when he started martial arts. I think it must have given him confidence.

  • I was going to suggest the same as the answer as the last one, look for social after school activities he may be interested in and inform the school and teacher of your worries so perhaps they can help other students interact with him more.

  • Maybe look for groups with similar interests outside the school setting. I was one of those children that was not interested in what my peers were. As I small groups, youth group, scouts etc can help.

  • Is he upset about it? What size school does he attend? I was a loner myself as I felt I didn’t fit in, had anxiety etc. Sometimes I would find one friend and hang around with them which would make me feel happier. It can be very rough being a kid, and not sharing interests with others makes it even harder. Is your son unhappy having no friends? Is there a hobby he could do where other kids with the same interest meet up. Whether it be a sport, or something like scouts, or whatever else is available. You could perhaps start your own, or make a post looking for kids that share the same interests. Even if it’s a friend outside of school, it could still make a huge difference in his happiness (if he is lonely). I know how heartbreaking it is knowing your child is alone at lunch time. The thought of them hurting hurts us. Best of luck.

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