41 Answers

I’ve been with my husband for 6 years now and he had a kid before me and him got together. Anyway he’s ex is always going to be in his family.
I would love to be friends with his ex and I have meet her a few times and I thought she was nice and for some reason she told me we couldn’t be friends as I’m with her ex. I get that but I thought we could be mature about it as I gave her a chance to be my friend even though she’s my husbands ex… She’s really close with his family, closer then what I am. Please give me some advice with how I could be friends with her – as in, what I should say for her to start talking to me please.

Posted anonymously, 30th December 2013

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  • You can’t force friendships. Just be yourself and continue yo be nice, maybe she opens up at the idea after a while.

  • Why would you bother? It seems she’s not interested in being friends, I think you’re fighting a list cause

  • Its a difficult situation to be in,seems she doesnt want to be friends!

  • Just keep doing what you’re doing, keep being you, show you mean what you said. Give it time and she might come round. Some women are totally unforgiving when it comes to their ex and new partner

  • I would suggest she’s made her position clear that you can’t be friends, she doesn’t want to be friends and that’s that.

  • It is great reading the comments!

  • I don’t think she can be your friends, only keep good relationship would be ok.

  • i think you’ll just have to see what happens over time but keep being friendly anyway

  • I don’t think you will be able to be friends, but civil will be good

  • Try not to force it. Continue being friendly to her, because, as you said, she is going to be in your life for a very long time. It will also be good for husband’s child to see that you do not hate their mother. She may come around, she may not, but at least you know you tried.

  • Don’t push the issue. Just be polite to her, say hi and smile. One day you might have a conversation when she’s ready.

  • It sounds like she still has feelings for him. I am separated from my eldest sons father and we are all friends, he even looks after my youngest child too, so we can go away at weekends. They even go fishing all together without me lol. That is why I still think she has feelings for him. It works out so much better for the children this way, they are not put under any pressure. I would talk to her explain this and ask if she still does.

  • i tried to be friend with my partners ex but was not worth it so maybenjsut let it be

  • I never want to be friends with my partners ex and my ex husbands wife I talk to her but we are not friends you can be civil and thats it

  • I wouldn’t change it. It may be hard on her seeing her x has moved on

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