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My 5 year old step daughter throws monster temper tantrums. For example, in the supermarket I will say ‘no we don’t need that cereal’ and she will chuck a huge one. At home I will ask her to eat her food before getting a drink – otherwise she refuses or even throws her food and has another meltdown often throwing herself around and hurting herself.  I have 2 biological children and they have never had tantrums like this before ever. How can I avoid tantrums? I’m worn thin.


Posted by mom112473, 15th April 2015


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  • I’m suspecting she may be reacting to her situation. If her parents have recently split, she will need time to adjust. I would suggest ignoring the tantrums as much as possible, as long as she isn’t hurting anyone. If she’s not getting a reaction, she may well stop haveing tantrums


  • I have an eight year old girl in temporary care who, at the beginning of her placement, threw huge tantrums (up to 4 a day lasting a hour, by which she attacked the other kids).
    I started a sticker chart, with to be begin with every day -she didn’t throw a tantrum- a sticker and a reward for that sticker. When that went well, she needs now 4 stickers for her reward and I expect now no tantrums, or any psychical attack, cooperation and listening for a sticker.
    Express love and appreciation, but at the same time set the boundaries very very clear of what is acceptable and what not.


  • Tough situation to be in. Giving limited choices help… So you can either eat one piece if meat or one vegetable before getting a drink… Either option leads to your outcome but she will feel some control. Or in the shops.. No we don’t buy lollies unless there’s a special occasion but you can pick which fruit we buy… Apples or pears


  • At risk of sounding very old fashioned, my son would have got a whack! Last resort of course. Nick was incredible, and really knew what my expectations where as a parent in terms of his behaviour. I will not offer advice or pass judgement, just wish you well. Everyone parents differently… Remember it is stages not ages x


  • Does she have sensory processing disorder? Is she on the autism spectrum? Is she struggling with the home situation?
    Have you tried the failsafe diet?


  • I don’t think that you can avoid tantrums. It sounds to me like she is trying to push the boundaries. Don’t give in to her, stand your ground. My kids don’t get drinks with their meals until after for the reason that they drink first and fill up and then wont eat their dinner. I don’t even put cups on the table. My kids when shopping with me (usually on school holidays) will be told in the car before we leave that they are to ask for nothing because they wont get it! They know if they are well behaved they will be treated to a milkshake after. Any bad behaviour ends up with losing rewards like cartoon time, movie time, milk and cookie time before bed, IPad play time….things they really enjoy, they will lose that privilege.


  • Just dont give into the her ever and explain to others that they are to never give ito her for any reason. I find grandparents are the worse hy give the kids what ever they want and dont think of whats going to happen net time you ar out with the kids and they want something.


  • My miss 6 likes to throw tantrums occassionally anywhere…… I found if I just ignore her and walk away she gets over it pretty fast.


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