Hello!

5 Answers

How do you cope when a teenage daughter goes moody!? My heart goes out to her and I want to help but unfortunately end up needing help myself….. I’ve noticed that she breaks ‘all the rules’ when it comes to communication – interrupting, aggressive, blaming, put downs, fails to communicate her real problem/issue/feeling and ends up putting me offside, slams me with a load of verbal abuse and gets me off-side….. I feel like I’m in an abusive relationship! And would love some more tips about how to cope with this abuse… and then perhaps guide her a little more in how to manage her stuff/communicate etc.


Posted anonymously, 4th April 2017


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  • It has been 3 years since you asked your question. I wonder how it has been going ? did your daughter grow out of this stage ?


  • I do not have a daughter, but I was a daughter and these actions sounds familiar. It may be just puberty blues. Teenagers feel they are grown up and you are no longer their boss. But mine wasn’t that, it was abuse. I was full of anger, aggression and breaking all the rules. I guess without knowing it I was angry at my mother for not seeing what was happening to me. How could she be so blind. A female counsellor may help you both to find out the reason for her behaviour. You could let this go and hope for the best, but what happens if it doesn’t change? Try a quiet time with your daughter ask her directly if there is a problem. Assure her their is no guilt on her part no matter what and that you are with her 100% no matter what happened. This really needs to be resolved because if its something serious it could affect her whole future.


  • I would just keep talking to her as normal, ignoring her negative reactions. You have to remember it’s just a phase she’s going thru, it will pass


  • I think a calm, patient, loving and understanding attitude will certainly have an effect. She goes through puberty with all the hormonal changes and identity development indeed, which can be confusing as well.
    Important to see things in proportions for yourself as parents and bring them in proportions for her. Important to care extra for yourself to be able to show an extra amount of patience towards her. Otherwise I don’t think you have to tolerate all behavior. Set clear rules, limits, boundaries and model good manners in a loving way.
    Beside that it might good to do fun things together like getting your nails or hair done together, go shopping, go to the gym, grab a coffee or go for a walk or wathever you like to do together.


  • Hormones raging, parents become the enemy, they know everything and you know nothing! Teenage years are so trying. All you can do as a parent is to be there for when they are ready to communicate. I know that every word spoken becomes a battle as they try to find their way from childhood and adulthood and sometimes you think ‘did I really give birth to this child?’ It does get easier but don’t get into battles over small things otherwise its a total meltdown. Just let her know you are there for her.


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