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I have a beautiful daughter with down syndrome we did the test and all the scans didn’t pick it up so it was a shock when she was born. I’d have never given her up but often wondered if knowing beforehand would have at least prepared me and and allowed the tears earlier so I could just enjoy being a new mum. My question is to those who have had children with a diagnosis, did you know before birth or after and to those before did it help?


Posted by pharwynd, 16th November 2016


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  • We did not know before birth that my son had a disability. Like you, I’d never swap him. But I am firmly convinced it would have been easier had we known before birth. There is a period of mental adjustment – I think if I could have done that while pregnant, I would have been in a better place to start enlisting support services as soon as he was born.


  • Allow yourself to go through the grieving process and don’t be afraid to ask for professional help. I wish your family all the best for your journey ahead. It may not be the one you expected but you will make it yours ????☺️


  • Hi pharwynd, I’m wondering how your feelings are now ? I don’t know if you’re a member of a facebook group called T21 Mum Australia Network ? It’s a great group of mums with T21 children who support eachother. If you’re not a member yet try to search it on facebook and request if you can become a member.


  • I have friends that were the opposite, they had the Down syndrome diagnosis but had a normal child instead


  • Thanks for the response, I not for one second regret anything shes my everything =). It’s a question I get often asked and with only one experience I have only one answer but the question began to bug me so thought I’d engage to see others experiences


  • I don’t think it’s helpful for yourself to question if it would be easier when you would have known the diagnosis before birth….fact is that it only became clear after birth, you have to deal with that.
    Most likely when you would have heard it before birth you would have been worried an concerned during your pregnancy, taking away your joy and excitement and this would effect your child when you were carrying her in your womb.
    My youngest daughter had Down Syndrome as well, she is 3 years old.
    I call her my daughter but she’s my foster daughter. I have her since she is 5 weeks old and came out of the hospital.
    My friend (who is the aunt) would take her sister in care but no-one spoke up for little Sienna. Then I spoke up for her, as I would like to see the sister close to eachother and part of each others lifes.
    At that point they suspected she had Down syndrome but it wasn’t clear yet. I chose to have her anyway, not knowing if she had Down Syndrome or how severe her disability would be (as there are many gradations. 3 years later now we have her sister also in care (the placement at the aunt went wrong) and we will have them permanently (till they’re adults).
    There has not been one day I regretted I chose to have this little girl, who feels she is my own.


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