62 Answers

My son is 19 years of age & has just ended a 9 month relationship he has been in with a mentally & physically abusive girlfriend however, I have the feeling he is still seeing her. I am worried for his safety however, not sure how to approach it with him as I don’t want to push him away. Any ideas would be most welcome. How so I help my teenage son?

Posted by anon, 23/08/13

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  • I have an 18 year old. I’ve found the more you tell them not to see or do something the more they will. Some boys are very insecure (like mine) – he eventually got out of a poor relationship and now has a lovely girlfriend. I sat back and waited till it happened. If she is abusive that’s another story – I’d continually tell him you love him and he deserves better than that. I’d also let her know you are aware of the situation

  • Maybe sit down and talk with him? He just may need a shoulder to cry upon or something

  • You can’t tell him not to see her just let him know you are there for him and be tere for him when it ends. Also wouldn’t hurt to let him know there are plenty of girls out there. Even suggest using pof maybe if he is someone that needs a girlfriend

  • Just let him know that you are there for him, that if he needs to talk you are there. If he is having dark thoughts then you need to encourage him to see a doctor.

  • I would offer your support without pushing him too much. You obviously don’t want to push him away. I couldn’t imagine how hard this is for you but as long as he knows he can come to you he won’t feel alone in this. You could also research a few websites or support services & if he’s open to talking to you then you could show him that you have found them & if he’s interested in reading them rather than talking to you at least you know you’ve done what you can & with the best approach. Good luck. I hope he is ok :)

  • I think maybe you should just tell him nicely what it is you suspect and gently ask is that the case and see if you can get him to open up. I f he gets upset at you i would just apologise and tell him well what ever the problem is you are there for him if he would like to talk about it or will organise for him to speak to a councillor

  • I hope all goes well for you and your son. One day someone wonderful will come along and he’ll wonder why he wasted his time on someone who didn’t appreciate him. x

  • Just be there for him. Maybe organise a time when you can catch up ie coffee once a week or something one-on-one not to discuss this issue in particular but just to talk about life in general (from both of you). He will open up when he is ready, just need to wait a little. Hope it all works out well.

  • You really need to be careful so that you dont push him away. Good luck

  • All you can really do is keep the lines of communication open. Talk, but don’t demand answers regarding the relationship. If you have solid relationship, he’ll approach you when he needs. If there is physical abuse like you say, you’ll have to keep a sharp eye out for any injuries and call the police if she’s injured him.

  • hows it going? hope everything is ok.

  • Be there to support him, maybe have him speak to a counsellor about the relationship and the effects that it had on him. Someone with an outside view might be able to help him see just how damaging the relationship was and help him make the decision not to see her.

  • speak to him but don’t push him to stop the relationship,just let him know you’re there for him if he needs anything,it probably needs to run it’s course sounds horrible,as long as he knows you’re open to him for talking .

  • let it runs its course When he needs your help he will ask you

  • I think you’ll have to stay quiet and let it run it’s course, and be there for him when it ends.

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