19 Answers

I have been more on edge lately I have been very sad and lonely and I struggle with anxiety with my boyfriend working long days all week and me being home with our daughter all the time it’s been hard … I love spending the days with her so much we play and go on walks and watch movies, lately I have been losing my temper easier with my boyfriend and her I yell slam things and I don’t want to I instantly feel awful and cry while showing them all the love I can and I just don’t know what’s going on with me … I feel like an awful mom

Posted anonymously, 2nd December 2020

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  • Oh anxiety and loosing your patience is so normal I believe. I have taken a lot of self changing over the last year to change my habits and it has shown lots with the home and family especially the kids. For me the biggest step was admitting to myself that’s not what I wanted to be like. I look at the issue (that’s making me loose my cool) and worked at looking at the bigger picture to change from having a out of control moment myself to helping keep things calm.

  • Do think you have had some wonderful replies here. Rewarding yourself now and again does really help, and this year has been exceptionally bad what with COVID and all. Do hope things settle down in your household and you feel better before too long.

  • May be it’s just a phase!! Talk to your friends sometimes we all need is someone who can hear you. Go out, do some exercise or yoga or anything that you like. You will feel a lot better

  • Have you spoken to your boyfriend about how you feel at times. You may need a little more support from him on the weekend. I do feel that you need a break from them maybe going for a walk every day after he gets home and has settled in with your daughter he can look after her whilst you have time out. Even if this is shopping alone and grabbing a coffee. Covid has a lot to do with our feeling this year many people are suffering with anxiety and being lonely you could talk to your doctor. I joined a walking Mum’s group in my area and we pushed the kids in our prams and walked to different parks took picnics and had a lot of fun. You could find one of theses in your area look on Facebook for groups in your area. There are some Mothers Groups held in Churches that are great for the kids to mingle and you could make friends with a new Mum or two. I come from a one income household (our choice) I supported my husband by giving him time to settle in when he got home from work, putting him first and then he was ready to take over and watch the kids so I could do something just for me. Walking the dog and going to a movie or shopping by myself or catching up with a old friend. Look at community learning centres and see if there is a course you might like to join they have evening classes as well as day classes and see if there is childcare for a hour or two where you enjoy learning something new and your daughter can play with little friends. I also look my kids to the local pool and taught them to swim and we had fun in the sunshine. I bet you will meet other MUM’s there doing the same thing like I did and we tended to meet there the same day every week. It does get better!

  • Try to be mindfulness and practice meditation may help.

  • I was just reading your post another time. How old is your daughter ? I remember when my kids were little I felt rather lonely too. Connecting with other mums together with the kids was a life safer for me.

  • Try to focus on others. Find a group you can join and reach out in your community. If you get to know others your problems will seem smaller

  • Don’t feel bad. We all get like that when we feel as if we aren’t supported.
    Try spending some time outside with your little one even if you don’t feel like it, sunshine plays a big part in our mental health and it can help. You’ll get through this mama, don’t stress.

  • Can’t help you as I am going through similar issues.. sending positive vibes

  • Anger outburst and anxiety was the first symptoms for me when I started suffering with depression. I highly recommend making time for you. Without baby. Even little things. Just something you enjoy for you that is separate to your mum role. Even just catching up with a friend, getting a massage or your hair done, going for a walk, whatever it is that brings you joy. Because it sounds like your bucket is running on empty and you need to do those self cares and moments of joy to fill that bucket back up bit by bit. It’s amazing how quickly we lose ourselves when we become a parent. But you matter too.

  • Firstly, you are bit an awful mum.
    I’m a stay at home mum and it is a hard gig and does get lonely.

    It has been a rough and very hard year, especially with COVID, you may have had to seclude yourself even more which takes its toll any person.

    Afew things that may help.
    Do you have family that can give you time out, even for 1 hour, will make a difference to your well-being.
    With restrictions easing, are there any play groups you can join to go to and be able to talk to other adults.
    Tell you Bf how you feel and can he do a ‘daddy daughter date’, allowing you time yourself.
    Speak to a health nurse or GP (whatever resources you have available) and see what they can offer
    Lastly, this too shall pass…. I used to hate hearing this, but being told “just enjoy each moment with them as they grow so fast”. I never knew what that really would feel like till #1 hit school age. It’s not easy to let any things be water off a ducks back when you are solo the majority of the time, just try and take it one day at a time

  • Do you have anybody who can mind your little girl for a couple of hours and you go out for awhile
    or your boyfriend mind her while you go out – even if you just do the shopping on your own. There is no mention how old your daughter is. Is there a group you can join at all. You could make inquiries at you local Medical Centre. Staff there may know of a group – perhaps even have leaflets. Some Local Council Offices have leaflets and ideas put on a notice board. Some shopping centres have community advertising boards. You may even see something of interest on them.

  • First, you are NOT an awful mother! You are human doing one of the hardest jobs in the world. Is it possible you could be feeling a little resentment toward your boyfriend? I am a stay at home mama to 2 and it’s so lonely. I find myself getting impatient, snappy and just irritated wanting a break. It’s important to take time out for you, and just you! Please reach out to your GP and ask for some advice or help, especially if you’ve identified anxiety. It is crippling and exhausting to live with. <3

  • Lean on people in your support network like family and friends. Its amazing how expressing how you are feeling can help.

  • I do agree that mindfulness and DBT are very useful but think even more important is that you find people you can connect & share with as loneliness certainly impacts feeling of depression and anxiety.

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